Heartlight review.
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Parent Reviews and Testimonials Below are comments and reviews from the parents of residents of Heartlight over the years. We believe that what they have to say echoes the feelings of thousands of parents who have placed a teenager in our program over the 21 years that Heartlight has been in existence. For a current referral list of parents who have had a teenager in the Heartlight program, please contact Melissa Nelson, Director of Admissions, at the Heartlight Office at (903) 668-2173 and a listing will be faxed or e-mailed to you. Click image to review our online Campus News blog ---->
Reviews and Comments Dear Parent: If you are reading this, I want you to know how very sorry I am for it means that you are about to begin your journey with Heartlight--and you are about to turn your child over to people you don't know yet--and you are very scared. I am in a different place than you are. Tonight, as I write this, I am preparing to pick my daughter up at Heartlight for the last time: she graduates tomorrow night, August 5, 2010, after 11 months of residency. There are so many things I wish to tell you about the next year of your life. Some things I say may not ever apply to you; some will. Most of all, I want you to know that even though it doesn't seem like things will ever be better, they will. They will get easier. The next year is not a sprint, however. It is a marathon and you have to be in it for the long haul--you may want to quit at mile 12, but don't! A second wind will come along just when you think you cannot take one more stride. I won't bog you down in the details of what brought my child to HL. I think that what you will find is that most of the kids share a pretty similar story as far as the "patterns of escape" they sought. My guess is that you will find out some more details that hurt you; disappoint you; cause you pain . . . please don't dwell there. What's done is done. Like Mark says, the only thing that changes when you find out the real truth is that you know--nothing else--it still happened. The good news is: your child is out of that situation and you are about to hand them tools to make their lives better. I worried about such stupid things at the beginning. I was so worried that my daughter had to wear grey; that she had to live for a time at South House (which is beat up--those newbies are a tad angry I'm afraid!). I was DEVASTATED to think that my child might wear an orange jumpsuit (if she got into trouble). . . blah blah blah. How silly of me! Here I was complaining that my child only worried about her appearance . . . hmmmmmmmm. I guess we both learned a thing or two. I worried when I saw some of the other girls at HL, especially in South. They looked "different"--lots of pierced this and that; dark make-up; some wild hair. One girl, Ariel, just had the weirdest hair--I judged her immediately! But then, over the months, I got to know many of these girls--and their families. And I learned to love them--especially that Ariel--what a sweetheart! And she really helped my daughter. So--don't be like me: don't think you know these kids until you know them. They have amazing stories and I am stunned, after learning some of them, that these kids are even breathing. What else do I want to tell you? Well--your kid, like every kid at HL, is going to play you. They are. They can't help it! It's actually funny to think back on all that tonight. What happens is that the kids talk. They share all sorts of crazy ideas about what you can do to get your parents to pull you. And they try it all--I promise! You will meet other parents at the retreats and start sharing stories and you will laugh--you'll see the common thread. Some kids, like my daughter, play the "all is perfect" card for a long time. It was as if she was out to show everyone that we were just so wrong about her! She was an angel! Of course, that did not last . . . and she fooled no one on the staff. I knew that we had her in the right place when Blake told me that the first time he met my "angel," she about poured sugar from every pore, leaving him to think, "AH--this kid is slick--this will be fun!" It hurt like crazy to hear my child called "slick," but Blake nailed it on the head. My point is this: there is nothing your child can throw at the HL staff that they have not seen before. And there is nothing new that your child will throw your direction that they don't all throw at one point or another. Please make no mistake--the next year will be full of pain for your child. But--they were in pain before they went to HL too--the difference is: now they can get better. You will want to bring your child home--I know you will. Please don't. You made this terribly terribly difficult decision for a reason: trust yourself. Trust God. This is how we got through it. We believed, and we still to this day believe that we found the very best place for our child with people who love her and want only the best for her--but people who aren't so emotionally involved and invested as we are. We know that God led us to HL--we know that. And that is what happened for your family as well. Trust that the HL staff will make the very best decisions for you and for your child. If your child does not make level, there IS a reason--they have a plan--trust them! Support them--you are just too close to be objective. You left your kid with these people--that was the hardest thing you ever did. Trust that they know which house or what level your baby belongs in. They are tough on your kid--but they know when to pull back on the throttle too. I had to learn to reach out to HL staff, just as my daughter did when times got tough. Please don't be stubborn like me--if you have concerns, call--they will be addressed. Too often, I let things fester when they could have easily been resolved with a quick phone call. Your kid will tell you that: 1. All the other kids are worse and scary (false); 2. That no one is helping them (false); 3. That they can't go on (they can) and so on . . . I promise you will hear versions of this . . . Our child is graduating tomorrow--I am so proud. And we did some things very right. 1. We told her that she had two ways home: turning 18 (she was 15 at the time); or graduating. We never wavered. Ever. If your child sees so much as a twitch, I am convinced that you are throwing your money away and wasting time. You are also sabotaging families like mine--seriously--you are. If your child brags that they are leaving and they quit working--get the bad attitude etc, it hurts everyone. HONESTLY--the morale of the house goes down measurably. Don't do it! 2. We learned tough love. We learned to end "dumping" phone calls (and we only had a couple because we got off the phone!) 3. We have changed. About that #3--like it or not, we as parents have a role in what has happened to our kids. At our house, our child knew we had such high expectations--when she messed up, she didn't feel like she could tell us. In result, we had "two" people living at our house: the fake A. and then, the real A. And we didn't know the real A. until it was way too late. . . we share a hand in what happened to our child. We have learned so much--you will too. And we are so excited. Let me tell you why: knowing our child--going through this experience, has brought our family CLOSER in so many ways. Everyone is out of the shadows--what a relief! Now--we can truly be a family and get on with living--it is just so exciting! I don't have a lot else to tell you except that they folks at HL are wonderful. Each of these people could be out in the private sector raking it in--they are talented, energetic--simply the best. But they are at HL because they want to help kids. I know this because I have watched it for a year. You can't fake the obvious love and compassion that the staff have--and I don't know how they do it. These kids can be so ugly, especially in the beginning. And at 8 months--I am convinced that just when you think all is well, you'll see one last stupid attempt by the kids to hang on to the old, ugly ways . . .this too shall pass. Anyways--the staff is amazing--and answering a calling--no doubt about it. No doubt. God put them there and they do such wonderful work. I am just so sorry that more people cannot afford this help. It's a lot of money. No doubt. But it's nothing compared to our kids. I guess that's it. Don't lose hope--don't give up on your baby--they still need you. I will be praying for you--please send one up for us too. It is going to be ok. I was, by the way, that mom. I cried every time I was at HL. I would see other moms socializing and laughing--I never could. I just always was on the verge of tears. Always. Even at the end. And I think that's ok. We all grieve differently. We all cope differently. I have to be a stone in my professional life--maybe it's ok that I can just "feel" at HL. Just be yourself and cope however you can--it's a marathon--not a sprint. I wish you all the best--and I know that you can do this. God bless you--hang in there!" -- Shelley ‘‘I’m convinced that if it had not been for heartlight, our daughter would not be alive today. They not only taught our daughter how to live upright, but they also taught my wife and me the skills we needed for change within our home.” Kevin Harrell – Glen Ellyn, IL “What makes Heartlight different than the other specialists who tried to help our son is Mark's practical experience, love, commitment, and most importantly, his years of living and working with sad, struggling with kids who have needs beyond the capabilities of their parents. He has a God-given gift to see into the hearts of kids who are hurting.” Cindy Strain – Abilene, TX “Heartlight's logical approach to behavioral issues made addressing and correcting them rewarding and relatively simple.” Ryan Hurley – Costa Mesa, CA “Heartlght provided healing and hope for our daughter and our entire family when despair appeared to be all that was left,” Jim Samis – Fort Worth, TX “For over 30 years, Mark Gregston has ‘got it’ when it comes to understanding teens. Teens love Mark. I’ve seen it in hundreds of teen faces. They know he understands who they are, where they hurt. I can’t think of a better person to help me understand my own teenagers.” Elliott Snuggs – Los Angeles, CA “Heartlight was the light in the midst of darkness for our struggling teen daughter, giving us hope when we were hopeless.” Bill & Elise Daniel – Oklahoma City, OK “Mark has the God-given talent of probing the heart of a teenager, identifying their struggle and offering a common sense biblical perspective on living through it. I experienced Mark’s gift first-hand and am now attempting to pass it down to my kids.” James Brookhart – Bentonville, AR “My teen was committed to a path of self-destruction, full of sex, drugs, anger, and brokenness. Heartlight helped her choose another path full of happiness, hope and joy. Not only do they help teens, they helps parents realize what they can do to create a better family.” Anne Northington – Raleigh. NC When Did You Know It Was Time To Send Your Teenager To Heartlight?“We knew it was time because everything got crazy. We received the cell phone bill that listed daily phone calls from 1-3 am and her only response was 'so what?' She started running away and sneak back in late at night. She was out of control....and we were helpless.” “I knew it was time…when I looked into his big brown eyes and the spark that had always been there was gone. All I saw was a look of hopelessness and darkness, a silent cry for help.” ‘‘Our entire family was being controlled by her behavior. My marriage was failing; my relationship with my older daughter was suffering. I wasn’t eating, sleeping, or able to perform well at work. I was beginning to withdraw from social settings as well and felt as if my family was falling apart. Every option I tried had failed.” “I knew my teenager was spinning out of control when she stopped smiling and refused to get up and go to school.” “Her attitude changed upon starting public school, after being in a private Christian school. She was arguing more; she was more defiant and began hanging out with a different group of kids. I later found out they were experimenting with drugs and alcohol.” “Our daughter just couldn’t get on the other side of her dad’s death. Her depression was out of control. She wanted help more than I wanted it for her and begged us to find a place where she could get it.” “My daughter was a sad little girl. She was meeting with a therapist and a variety of people - her youth minister, Sunday school teacher, school counselor, other school personnel, and family members - that were all taking extra time with her and poured their lives into her. Yet all of these interventions weren’t effective. One night she came right out and said, ‘I need help. I have no more desire to live now than I did before everyone started helping me. I just want to die and I don’t like feeling this way.'" “We were calling the police several times a week. We never knew whom she was with, where she was, or when she was coming home. The police told us to do something now or things would only get worse.” “She showed a continual disrespect towards us that was manifested in several ways. Nearly every sentence out of her mouth was a lie. I discovered she was having casual sex and she did not think that it was wrong or show any remorse.” “When my daughter looked me in the eye and said 'I’m going to do whatever I want and there isn’t a %$#@ thing you can do about it.'” “When she started cutting herself and continued to skip school, even in the face of probation from the D.A.’s office.” “Our son was arrested three times in three months for possession of marijuana, and he chose to go to juvenile detention center rather than come home under house arrest. He had violated the rules we had set in place and communicated, and he knew if he defied me again, he was going to have to leave. The situation was tough, but the decision was easy, since he made it for me.” “When my son looked at my wife and said, '“If you don’t shut your mouth, I’ll shut it for you.'” “We knew our son was not responding to our efforts to help him when he ran away from home for the second time and was brought home by the local police. Our efforts at changing schools and participating in family counseling for the previous four months weren’t helping, and our counselor recommended we find a different place for him to live.” “When my daughter came into the bedroom late one night and said, 'Mom and Dad, I need help.'” “She made no effort to cover up her poor choices, didn’t care about consequences, and thought everything revolved around her. After having enjoyed success at most anything I put my mind to, I felt like an utter failure for the first time.” If any of these comments and reviews from parents sound familiar to you, or reflect your current situation, we would suggest that you strongly consider getting further help for your teenager. The actions you take now may make all the difference in the life of your teen. Click here or call Melissa Nelson, our Admissions Coordinator, at 903.668.2173 ext. 32. She’ll be happy to provide you an information packet and answer any questions you may have. |
 Heartlight reviews and comments from the parents of teenage residents over the years.     Helps from Heartlight...
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© Copyright 2010 Heartlight Ministries
P.O. Box 286 Hallsville, TX 75650 Phone 903-668-2173 Heartlight Christian boarding school comments and reviews from resident parents.     |
