Pulling Away from Teens (1-23-2012)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Have you ever experienced that knee-jerk reaction… when your child has done something goofy …unacceptable …and your first reaction is to pull away?  Sure you have.  I have, too.

We’re human.  And when someone hurts us… especially someone we love… it’s natural to clam up.  But avoiding the issues can have a disastrous impact.  In fact, we become the consequence for their actions… when we pull away.  That’s entirely unproductive.

Mom.  Dad.  Though it’s hard, decide right now that you’ll continue to move toward your child whenever they disappoint you.  Reinforce that there’s nothing they can do to make you love them less… and there’s nothing they can do to make you love them more.

Don’t pull away.  Draw them in.

WEEKEND: Cutting & Self-Harm (1-21-2012)

HALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY:

When a parent discovers that their son or daughter is inflicting physical self-harm, it’s alarming.  But most likely this behavior points to an even greater issue lying beneath the behavior.  On this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston helps moms and dads get to the root of a teen’s cutting and self-harm.

Special Guest: Deedee Mayer

What’s Normal? (1-20-2012)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

When it comes to your teen’s behavior… how’s a mom or dad supposed to discern what’s normal … and what’s abnormal?

That may seem like a loaded question.  But let’s take a minute and separate the two.

It’s normal for teens to fail to do their chores without ten reminders… to put off homework… to get emotional and to listen to music that’s too loud.  It’s normal for them to question authority, even though it drives you crazy.

But abnormal behavior needs to be addressed.  It shows up as sudden and profound personality swings… extreme disrespect for people and things… eating disorders or self harm.

If your teen falls into the “abnormal” category… I’d encourage you to take action.  And it all begins by seeking professional help.

The Value of a Question (1-19-2012)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

When was the last time you asked your teenager a question?  I mean a really thoughtful question… then waited for the answer?

I’ve found that one of the most important tools in a parent’s toolbox doesn’t cost a thing.  It’s the effort to ask a question and then taking the time to listen for the answer.  When I coach parents in connecting with their teen, I give them three things to think about:

• First, ask relevant questions… don’t fake it.
• Second, let ‘em think about the answer… don’t supply it.
• And third, value their response… don’t correct it.

When you do… you’re communicating that you respect your son or daughter.  So, let me ask you again.  When was the last time you asked your teen a really thoughtful question?

Parenting Roles (1-18-2012)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Men and women are very different creatures.  We see things differently, we respond to crisis differently… and we often parent differently.

After several decades working with families, I’ve seen a huge diversity in the approach moms and dads use …when it comes to dealing with their teens.  Moms tend to talk more… and want to fix everything in a single conversation.  Dads tend to avoid working through conflict… and don’t say enough.  Sound familiar?

Well, even though we wrestle with different issues in the home… there’s no substitute for the viewpoints we bring.  Use your distinctives as an asset.  Celebrate the unique relationship you both enjoy with your kids.

The best homes are those where moms are moms and dads are dads.

Getting Help (1-16-2012)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

The teen years always bring with them a measure of turbulence.  But as a parent, you need to discern when the bumps are a passing inconvenience… or a major warning sign.

When your son or daughter struggles for more freedom or makes mistakes that put you on edge… that’s entirely natural.  But if they’re causing harm to themselves or those around them, it’s time to get help.

So watch for signs such as marks on their body.  Or take a look at the interactions they’re having online.  When you come across dangerous behavior… don’t be afraid to call in the experts.

It may be a counselor.  Your pastor.  Or even the police.  But when your gut instincts are shooting off flares …don’t wait.  Get help.  Right away.

In the Long Run (1-16-2012)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

What do you want your kids to be like in ten or fifteen years?  What qualities are you hoping they’ll acquire?  With that in mind… how should you train your child today… to reach that long- range goal?

As a mom or dad of a teenager, it’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day pressures of managing a family.  So …take a step back …and remember the goal.  Your target should be to raise a responsible adult… not necessarily a compliant teenager.

So when you’re in the heat of the battle …keep your eyes on the horizon.  A weak and docile teenager might simplify your life.  But becoming a responsible adult is far better.  And some days … it may get messy.

Hang in there.  Your hard work will deliver rich rewards!

WEEKEND: Teaching Purity in a Culture That Doesn’t Care (1-14-2012)

HALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY:

The media, peers and the culture at large communicate to teens that experimenting sexually is natural and expected. So how can moms and dads uphold purity in the lives of their kids? Mark Gregston shares helpful ideas for teaching purity in a culture that doesn’t care, on this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens.

Special Guest:  Tim Smith

Seduction Fad (1-13-2012)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

I hear from a lot of concerned parents who feel their teenage girls dress too seductively.  They wonder how to deal with the issue of modesty when young ladies are pressured to show off their physical attributes.

Teens today live in a world of sexual innuendo… where outward packaging and presentation is all important.  And if your teen jumps on the bandwagon, it doesn’t necessarily mean that her character is flawed.  It just means she’s following a fad… trying on a role during the stage of adolescence.

My advice to parents is this:  Don’t flip out when your daughter is just trying to fit in.  Rather, calmly and consistently address the more important issue of modesty.  Then, make sure she understands that your family values won’t be compromised.  No matter how cool the fad!

Talk About It (1-12-2012)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

It’s a topic many of us would rather dodge.  It can make both parents and children alike squirm.

I’m talking about our sexually- charged culture.  The temptations for inappropriate sexual expression and experimentation abound.  And though it’s easier to assume that your kids are making right choices… there’s no substitute for a healthy one- on- one conversation.

Mom.  Dad.  Your kids are getting bombarded by innuendo all day long.  Take some control and have the conversation!  Empower your kids to make wise choices by opening up the dialogue at home.  No subject should be off limits in the safety of their relationship with you.

How soon?  At what age to you broach the subject?  That’s a question you have to answer.  But I’ll tell you this.  It’s probably sooner than you think!