Motivating Low Achievers (5-23-2012)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Is your teen a low achiever?  Maybe he doesn’t make the grades you’d like… or never remembers to do his chores around the house.

There are certain situations in the home where I’m in favor of offering rewards for accomplishments.  Now… I’m not saying you should have a performance- based relationship… where you retract love when your child makes a mistake.  Instead, I’m advocating a little motivation for your teen.

Chances are you know what your child wants and what he’d like to own.  You also know his areas of underachievement.  So… connect those two.  Offer financial rewards for meeting goals.  You may as well take what you would’ve given at birthdays and Christmas… and spread it out over twelve months in order to help your child reach his goals!  Motivate your under achiever!

Respect is Key (5-22-2012)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

In your home and mine… respect is a key issue!

If disrespectful comments are the norm in your household… something’s gotta be done.  Because relationships won’t be healthy unless there’s mutual respect.

So here’s what I challenge parents to do.  First, admit that you may be contributing to the disrespect in the home.  If that’s the case, admit it and apologize for any belittling or bitterness you’ve added to the equation.

Then, call a family dinner… and announce that you’re making some changes.  You’ll make an effort to be different… and you expect the same from your teen.

You might be surprised at the outcome when you have the courage to take the first step!  Remember… disrespect will slowly disintegrate your relationships.  So don’t let it happen.  Take care of it right now!

Entitled Teens (5-21-2012)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Teens today feel a sense of entitlement.  They want more, demand more, and expect more than any other generation I’ve known.

My friend, Dr. Tim Kimmel, puts it this way:  “The problem with kids brought up in our typical middle class home is this…  they’re born on third base but are under the delusion they hit a triple!”  

It’s this platform of unbridled entitlement that causes young people to remain immature, neglect responsibility and treat people disrespectfully.  Basically… they’re refusing to grow up.

Sadly, I often see moms and dads fostering these attitudes in their children.  There’s nothing wrong with wanting to give your child things, and put ‘em on third base… but consider how withholding privileges might teach your child much more than hitting a grand slam!

WEEKEND: Judging Builds Walls (5-19-2012)

HALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY:

Many well-meaning parents try to correct and coach their children through life.  But to a teenager, this can often come across as judgment and cause walls to go up in the relationship.  On this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston shares helpful ideas for communicating truth in a loving and accepting way.

Word for Word (5-18-2012)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Someone once said, “Children seldom misquote you.  In fact, they usually repeat— word for word— what you shouldn’t have said!”

You probably know what I’m talking about.  When your kids were little they blurted out things in public that you said in private.

Well, that might not happen when the kids turn into teenagers.  But be assured that they’re still watching you.  And… in more ways than one… mimicking what you say and do.

So, if that’s the case… how are you teaching your kids to live?  How are you teaching them to talk?  These are questions that moms and dads like you and me need to think about!

“Children seldom misquote you.  In fact, they usually repeat— word for word— what you shouldn’t have said!”

Holding Standards (5-17-2012)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Have you set high standards for your teen?  Do you want them to grow up to be smart, mature and responsible adults?  Of course you do.

We all want the best for our kids.  And a healthy amount of prodding and preparing are good.  It’s what we’re called to do.  But when moms and dads become more concerned with meeting the standards and lookin’ good to the neighbors… bad things happen.

So don’t give up on helping your teen become the best adult he can be.  But watch what you’re really after.  If it’s just the standard and making yourself look successful… better double check your motives!

Get back to loving the kid in your household …without concerning yourself with your reputation.  Your teen will love you for it.

Start Listening (5-16-2012)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

I know something about you.  You’re pretty good at listening… when something is important to you.

I find that moms and dads have forgotten that fact.  They don’t listen any more… partly because they’ve gotten so good at talking.  And… a few years ago when the kids were little… talking worked!

But now… when teens want to spread their wings and figure things out on their own… the time for lecturing has come to a close.  Now’s the time to rest your voice and use your ears.  It’s the perfect opportunity for you to show your teen how important you think he is.

When your teen shares his heart, don’t ruin the moment by interrupting.  If you do …he may quit sharing altogether!

So stop talking.  And start listening!

Fashion Trends (5-15-2012)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

If your teen is like the kids I know… she’s an expert on this year’s trends.  She knows all about the latest fashions.

The latest fashions for teens don’t matter that much to you and me.  Until they cross the line.  I deal with parents all the time who worry about their daughters’ outfits …especially the seductive ones.  These parents catalogue every piece of clothing… and assign strict rules about each one.

But part of me just wants to give these girls some clarity.  See… I hope you’ll draw the line when it comes to modesty for your girl.  But when it comes to the latest fashions?  Don’t micro-manage.

Allow for a little freedom of expression!  Let your girl be the expert she desperately wants to be.

When They Make Mistakes (5-15-2012)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Do you have a teen living at home?  Then you know what it’s like to watch mistakes happen.

It’s inevitable.  Kids make dumb choices.  They’ll say silly things and make a fool of themselves in front of a crowd.  But you have a powerful opportunity at that crossroad.  You can step in and crush them… or step in and build them up.  In fact… what you say at that moment of failure describes a lot about you… and a lot about what your teen will grow up to be.

Mom.  Dad.  A well- timed word of encouragement in the midst of failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.

Don’t over react when your teen blows it.  Be the one who holds them up when they fall.

WEEKEND: Authority Can’t Be Forced (5-12-2012)

HALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY:

Traditional parenting assumes that the authority of mom and dad over their kids is a given.  But in today’s culture, parents are finding it more and more difficult to demand respect.  That’s why parents should try a fresh approach.  Mark Gregston explains why authority can’t be forced on this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens.