Embracing the Sinful Child (10-31-2011)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

I know what scripture says about sin, but I believe it is also a sin to turn our back on a wayward adult child.

God has called us to be a part of our children’s lives even if they’ve chosen a sinful lifestyle in their adult years. We’re not to be their judge and jury, and we don’t have to like or approve of their sinful state, but we do need to love them.

Our hope is found in Philippians 1:6, which says “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.”

God is not finished with your child, and He will often do His work through us parents. So the challenge is to make sure we don’t get in His way with our own attitudes.

WEEKEND: Teens Who Lie (10-29-2011)

HALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY:

It’s likely you can remember a time when you lied to your parents as a teen.  We’ve all been guilty of this offense at one time or another.  But when parents recognize patterns of dishonesty in their teens, it’s time to do something about it!  Mark Gregston talks about the real attitude behind lying on this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens.

Teen Selfishness (10-28-2011)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Some parents feed their teen’s selfishness into adult years by continuing to do everything for them.

Age 15 is the time to begin aggressively helping your teen get over a selfish mindset.  Instead of being served by mom and dad, older teens need to begin doing things for themselves.

Romans 12:3 says, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought.” And this is the right principle to teach to your teen at this age.

So put on the brakes!  Stop doing everything for your them, like doing their laundry, waking them up, finishing their chores, or paying for their every need.  Quit jumping every time your teen says “frog.”  You need to stop, so that your teen can start learning to take responsibility for himself.

Power Over Teen Drug Use (10-27-2011)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

I talk a lot about parents giving up some control to their teenager, but there is one situation where control needs to be taken back by the parent.

For the family dealing with a teen who is addicted to drugs or alcohol, the parent must intervene and retake decisive control.

An old Jewish proverb says, “Don’t meet troubles half-way.” Give it all your attention now, or it could take more than you can give later. And you’ll be powerless when they become an adult.  So take whatever measures are necessary to ensure your teenager’s safety, and do it now.

It is up to you to create a solution, such as counseling or substance abuse treatment. And you, too, will need to surround yourself with good counsel and a group of godly friends who are willing to pray with you and encourage you.

Building Maturity in Teens (10-26-2011)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Teenagers don’t become responsible or learn to think more maturely by accident.

Teens learn from being in situations where responsibility and maturity is expected and modeled. That’s why I highly recommend to parents that they get their child into a part-time job throughout the teen years, and particularly one that is service-oriented.

Outside of what mom and dad are expecting of them, nothing can teach a teenager about life and making a livelihood than a job can, whether they need the money or not.

The right job for just a few hours each week can be a perfect training ground for a teenager, teaching people-skills, money-management, time-management, and even helping the teenager determine what she does or doesn’t want to do after high school.

Stop Nagging Your Teen (10-25-2011)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Nagging is just about the worst thing you can do in trying to help an older teen get motivated.

Instead of nagging, let them learn to take more responsibility by living with the consequences of not being responsible. Your child will learn more from missing his appointments, paying overdraft charges, or waving goodbye as their friends head off to college than anything you could ever say to them.

Missing a semester of school because the paperwork wasn’t turned in, or losing a job because he didn’t get up on time can teach a teen that they are responsible for what goes on in their life.  So stay out of it and don’t nag.  Such setbacks will help your teen ultimately become more responsible.

The Discerning Years (10-24-2011)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Have you helped you teen go through the process of making a making a good decision?

Discernment is the ability to evaluate the circumstances and make a right choice based on the facts at hand.  Secretly, most teens want their parents’ help in making wise decisions, but they’ll not likely ask for it.

So, begin early helping your teen make wise choices by asking them good questions.  Listen but do not judge as they walk through their reasoning.  Then, participate in a follow-up after they have made a decision, to help them think about it afterwards. Ask them, ”Was it really the experience you thought it would be? “

Empowering your child to make wise decisions comes down to developing their ability to discern right from wrong and weigh their options. 

WEEKEND: Kids Are Getting Older, Younger (10-22-2011)

HALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY:

Teens these days experience a different world than the ones their parents faced.  With earlier exposure to sexual activity, kids are getting older at a younger age.  Mark Gregston helps moms and dads recognize the signs of trouble and prevent early sexual experimentation on this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens.

Giving Up to Gain (10-21-2011)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Parenting teens can be thought of in terms of giving something up in order to gain something better.

I often tell parents , if you want your child to change, you have to let go of some things, and you have to be willing to change too.

So let me ask you, what are you ready to give up in order for change to take place?  Are you willing to allow your teen to make decisions, and therefore make mistakes?  Will you establish consequences in advance, so emotions can be taken out of enforcing them?

It’s hard to see a teen do something stupid, but stupidity’s cure isn’t more lecturing or anger from you, it’s living with the consequences.  So, line out your teen’s options, define the consequences, and then let them choose

Managing Conflict Together (10-20-2011)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Having disagreement and difficulty with a teen is like throwing wheat on a threshing floor –- you toss it up into the air;  the healthy seeds land, and the chaff gets blown away by the wind.

Parents can make a common mistake when conflict shows itself; they can over-focus and micro-manage every difference of opinion as if it were a mountain, instead of a mole-hill. And they can take the disagreement personally, when it really isn’t.

There are times in raising teens when you just have to decide to let go of the smaller issues in order to focus on other more important ones. A wise parent will hold the reins on what really matters, but give a teen some slack about things not quite so important.