Defining Characteristics (9-30-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Raising teens in a materialistic culture compounds a problem.  Teens are already naturally self-centered, so no matter how much they are given today, they want more…because it defines their value.  They not only want it, they “need” it.

Parents can help counter such feelings by exposing their teens to less fortunate people…volunteering at a homeless kitchen, short-term missionary trips to feed poor children, or similar hands-on assistance to the poor.  Nothing will change a selfish heart like helping someone who has nothing.

Revolving Lives (9-29-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Many parents make the mistake of revolving their lives around their children. That’s not good for them, or their children.

On a recent movie, the actress claimed that if she had a child she would give it everything it ever wanted.  My first thought was, well, I guess I’ll be seeing your messed up kid in 13 years!

You see, kids from over-indulgent parents tend to end up confused and entitled. Instead of being thankful, they want and expect more and more. Never getting enough, they’ll turn to drugs or sex as the next way to feel the same rush.

It’s better to love your children unconditionally and support them conservatively…not revolve your life or your wealth around them.

Broken Promises (9-28-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

There are many things that can damage your relationship with your child, but this may be the most destructive.

Few things can match the pain of a broken promise.  When we tell our children that we’re going to do something with or for them and then don’t, it undermines the trust that is at the heart of any successful relationship.

Solomon wrote, “It is better to not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it.”  Take your promises seriously.  Make sure your teens know that they can trust you and rely on what you say.  If you have failed in the past, a sincere apology for not keeping promises is a great way to start over.

Take Care How You Talk (9-27-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

The respect displayed when we talk about others sets the tone for how our kids will talk to us.

Is your child disrespectful? Before you judge them, remember that disrespect is contagious. Usually a child picks up what they hear.  If the home is filled with unkind words about others, the teen’s words will likely be so as well.  An old Spanish proverb goes like this, “The kindest word in all the world is the unkind word, unsaid.” I like that.

What we say about others can set a positive or negative example for our children; because teens may not listen to much of what you say to them at this age, but they hear everything that you say about others.

Consistency is Preferred (9-26-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

You’d be surprised, but teens prefer consistency when it comes to consequences.

Now, a teen will never say to you, “Please, give me consequences!” But the truth is, they get confused and angry when the consequences aren’t consistent.  For instance, if they come home late one day and the one parent is in a good mood, they might not be punished at all. But the next time, if the same parent, or another parent, is in a rotten mood, they might get grounded for a month for the same infraction.

In a world full of inconsistency and confusion, do your best to be consistent with discipline, and your teen will actually appreciate you for it, even if they are being punished.

WEEKEND: Wisdom in a World of Foolishness (9-24-2011)

HALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY:

Kids rarely appreciate a lecture from mom and dad. But in a culture filled with foolish ideals, teenagers are searching for significance and truth… and parents can help! Mark Gregston offers practical ideas for imparting wisdom in a world of foolishness, on this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens.

Sticks and Stones (9-23-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words hurt me even worse.  Well, that’s not the way they taught it to us, but it’s a lot closer to the truth for kids.

The power of words to wound the spirit is amazing.  I can still recall the harsh words my fourth grade teacher said to me.  And truth be told, I grew a mustache to make my nose look smaller after being called “Eagle Beak” in the 6^th grade.

When you’re speaking to your teen, weigh your words carefully.  Things said in jest can leave lifelong scars.  Be especially careful about physical critiques. Many a girl has lapsed into a lifelong battle with anorexia due to a parent commenting about her chubbiness as a child.

A Sense of Guilt (9-22-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Sometimes parents can make matters worse after a divorce by being too lenient with their children.

A frustrated step-father called to ask me for help.  His step-son was being abusive and defiant.  But no matter what he did to reign in the boy, his mother kept bailing him out and defending him.  Clearly the boy was milking the divorce for all it was worth and his mom went right along with it.

When a family splits, it is no time to be lax in parenting.  In fact, the more the rules can be laid out and remain consistent, the more stability will be felt by the children in a time otherwise filled with confusion, change and instability.

Purpose of Discipline (9-21-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

You’ll find that discipline of teens works a lot better if they understand it is something they’ve brought on themselves.

My favorite definition of discipline is: “Helping your child get to a place where they need to be and keeping them from a place where they don’t want to end up.”

If your child understands in advance the down side of making bad choices, they’ll first be less likely to make them, and second, less likely to be angry at you when they do and are disciplined.

Good discipline starts with establishing clear boundaries and consequences.  In this way the consequences won’t appear to be the random result of your disappointment.  Instead, they’ve brought the consequences on themselves.

Pursuit of Perfection (9-20-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

God is identified in Scripture as a perfect parent.  Yet His perfect creation, Adam and Eve, still failed.

We can do everything right as parents, and still have the heartache of a child who is choosing a different path in life. But that’s the way God designed it.  Each individual has to come to the realization that they need a Savior on their own. Forcing salvation wasn’t God’s plan, and neither should it be ours.

All we can do is to accept our kids and be there to help pick them up the pieces.  Assure your teen that they can never mess up so badly that God and you won’t be there for them when they see the light.