WEEKEND: Peer Pressure (4-30-2011)

HALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY:

Negative or positive, peer pressure is a strong force in the life of a teenager.  When “everyone else is doing it,” many teens are tempted to compromise the values mom and dad have spent years teaching them.  Mark Gregston shares important ways parents can offer teens support on this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens. Guest—Walt Mueller

Trust What You Taught Your Teen (4-29-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Just when we think we’ve got the parenting thing figured out, we need to step out of it and allow our kids to learn on their own.

After you’ve done your best to teach and train your child, the next step is to begin allowing them to make their own choices in the teen years.  The best advice I can give you is to trust what you’ve taught them, and don’t step in to lesson consequences if they choose poorly.

Communicate clear boundaries and consequences, but then step back and let them start making many age-appropriate decisions on their own.  You may have to swallow hard to keep from stepping in, but in the long run they will benefit from your trust.

Survival Skills (4-28-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Are you giving your kids the practical skills they need to survive in the real world, or just book knowledge?

The world your kids are growing up in is vastly different from the one we knew, and it is chewing up and spitting out kids who are unprepared.  We see it every day in our Heartlight counseling center.

Preparing kids to survive requires skills you may not have needed yourself.  And how does one build a skill?  By practice. Though scripture is a “two-edged sword,” swordsmanship still needs to be practiced.

Sooner or later your kids will be out in the world and have to defend themselves. So be sure to give them practical lessons, not just book knowledge.

Ongoing Exercise (4-27-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Wouldn’t it be nice if all the exercise and training we did when we were in high school lasted all our lives?

I played football and swam when I was young and did a lot of working out.  Unfortunately, the physique I had in those years hasn’t stayed with me.  If I want to remain fit, I have to keep exercising.

In the same way we need to continually be making deposits into our kids’ lives and hearts.  What was taught your kids when they were young isn’t enough.  It’s best to continue to teach and train them in ways that are appropriate to their age, and not expect their school, youth group, or even their memory to keep them out of trouble today.

Negative Messages (4-26-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Of all the negative messages parents can send their kids without meaning to, this may be the worst.

When you convey to your child through your words, actions and constant correction that you expect and will accept nothing less than perfection, you are setting them up for frustration and failure.  None of us is perfect—not your kids and not you.

Life is filled with struggle, hurt, mistakes, failures and sin.  When we expect nothing but perfection, we encourage our kids to seek empathy and comfort somewhere else. Having high standards is good, but don’t fall into the trap of cold and unforgiving perfectionism.  It destroys more families and more kids than you can imagine.

Effect Of Divorce (4-25-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Divorce can be especially hard on kids in their teen years.

It’s not my place to pass judgment on people who feel the need to divorce.  I understand there are many reasons and causes for why marriages break up.  But I can tell them from experience that divorce can have a significant impact on their teenagers, who will feel betrayed, abandoned and left out.

To help counter these feelings, each parent will need to work extra hard to communicate their love to their teenager and include and invite their teen to do things with them. Make sure the child knows they are still a part of your family and your life, even though some things will never be the same.

WEEKEND: When Teens Reject the Family (4-23-2011)

HALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY:

“Mom, I hate you.” That’s not something any parent wants to hear. But in reality, many moms and dads find their teen rejecting family relationships and values. So how much push back is normal? And what can parents do about it? Mark helps parents evaluate the situation and adapt their parenting style…with helpful tactics for communicating values.

Warning To Dads (4-22-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

The ability of most men to focus on one thing can also be one of the greatest liabilities at home.

Moms are often multi-taskers, but God created most men with built-in blinders.  It helps them maintain focus, but this wonderful skill that makes so many men successful at work can get in the way of their relationship with their children, especially their teenagers.

Dads can jump to a conclusion too quickly and not listen to what their teen is saying between the lines.  So they would be wise not to react, but take the time to intentionally sit down and listen to their child—paying attention to the heart of what’s being said rather than the logic.

Quit Talking (4-21-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

One of the most important things I encourage parents to try to improve communication is to just be quiet.

Sometimes parents get in the way of hearing what’s on their teenager’s heart.  So, when I teach parenting seminars, one of the things I tell parents who are overly verbal to try is to simply quit talking.  Spend a day without saying anything at all.  You’ll be amazed at what happens in the void.

For the first time in a long time your teen will start opening up and may even ask you for your advice. You’ll be amazed at what you begin to hear and what they begin listening to when your own talking isn’t getting in the way.

Lesson From My Closet (4-20-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Are you keeping up with the changes needed in your parenting style as your kids get older?

Some time ago, my wife and I went out to eat with a young lady that used to work with us.  As she showed me pictures from those days, I realized I was still wearing the same shirts, now two decades old. I had kept them in good condition, but they were now woefully out of style.

Likewise, as parents we can fail to realize our kids are getting older and will respond differently or negatively to our parenting if it hasn’t kept up.  Make sure your style matches your child’s age and appropriately prepares them for what they’ll face in the future.