Extreme Listening (2-28-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

I see two extremes in the way many parents listen, and neither one is very helpful.

A parent might listen carefully, but then react harshly to every word that comes out of their teen’s mouth. Or, assuming they already know what their child is thinking, they ignore what’s said entirely.

As difficult as it can be to hear out your teen, it is better to know it than to not know it. However, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to react or respond, since sometimes teens “think out loud” and don’t mean what they say.

If you are guilty of not really listening, use this trick.  Before responding, repeat back what you think you heard your teen say.

WEEKEND: Conflict and Confrontation With Your Teen (2-26-2011)

HALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY:

When tension reaches new heights in the home, it’s hard to think of conflict as a good thing.  Mark helps parents gain a new perspective on confrontation… and shares steps for managing healthy conflict with their teens.

Silver Lining to Teen Trouble (2-25-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

There can be a silver lining to experiencing troubles with your teenager.

Misbehavior in teenagers can reveal deeper troubles in their life.  They can be nothing more than a red flag they are waving high in the air to proclaim that something is wrong. Even giving in to peer pressure can be sparked by their internal struggles.

Sometimes the causes for misbehavior are so tragic and personal that a child would never think of telling anyone about them, but they bubble or explode to the surface through their actions instead.

If your teen is suddenly exhibiting misbehavior and identifying with a bad crowd, get a professional counselor involved, who can deal with the child’s deeper issues, privately and skillfully.

Affirming God’s Presence (2-24-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

On roller coasters, I’ve screamed out God’s name like a little girl. And I’ve done the same in the twists and turns of parenting.

In parenting, calling out to God affirms His presence, His power, and His purpose in your life and in the life of your teenager. Regardless of how you pray, it will reassure you that your confusion does not deter His plan. It calls you to look for the bigger picture and to search deeper for meaning in the struggles. Prayer aligns your heart with His so that your plans fall in line with His.

It’s a tough time to be raising teens. So, call out His name and seek guidance through the constant application of prayer.

Too Much Love? (2-23-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Can we ever offer a teenager too much love?

The short answer to that question is “Yes,” if we are showing our love through a steady flow of gifts and through focusing our entire lives on them.  Putting them on such a pedestal will likely create feelings of entitlement.  Instead of being grateful, they’ll begin wanting even more, and become demanding, selfish and self-centered.

We all want to give our kids everything we didn’t have as kids, but the more we give to our kids, the more they’ll eventually fall into anxiety, depression, and outright defiance, especially as they get closer to having to live on their own and fear the loss of the money train they’ve gotten accustomed to.

Off With the Training Wheels (2-22-2011)

Parents Being Consistent (2-21-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

I see a lot of kids today that are mixed up by inconsistent parents.

Teens left to themselves will naturally take the path leading to the greatest pleasure. And that’s why they need boundaries — but boundaries need to be consistent to make any sense to them.  They’ll thrive when clear and unmovable boundaries are in place, because it’s the one anchor in their otherwise turbulent life.

Without consistency, a teen will feel like they are living on a seesaw, where certain behaviors are okay one day and not the next.  Not knowing which will happen next can be stressful, and that can lead to anxiety, anger, depression, frustration, and despair. In the other hand, consistent boundaries will bring peace and confidence.

WEEKEND: Empowering Teens (2-19-2011)

HALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY:

When things get out of control, it’s often a parent’s first instinct to grasp for more control.  But sometimes the most influential thing moms and dads can do for their teen is to empower them!  Learn basic steps for handing over responsibility to your kids on this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens with Mark Gregston

Getting Teens To Communicate (2-18-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Having a hard time getting your teen to communicate?

Teenage boys will clam up if a parent expects them to look them in the eye when they talk.  Instead, sit side by side, like in the car.  And I find that all teens tend to talk more while they are involved in an activity, so you’ll be most successful if you can find something fun to do together.

Talking less may be difficult for parents, but when it comes to getting teenagers to open up to you, you can’t shut up too much.  Don’t expect a long discussion; it may just be the “instant message” version, so listen carefully and repeat back what you think they said. Finally, be sure to ask questions to keep the conversation going.

Finding a Balance (2-17-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

It’s a parent’s duty to help the teen balance their schedule.

Kids can be pressured to perform today.  So, take care in managing their schedule.  Don’t allow them to over-commit every spare second in their day to sports, clubs, music, or youth group.  Give them permission to cut out some things if needed or to add some activities like trying out for a new sport or club that will broaden their horizons, give them a new skill, or put them in the company of a positive peer group.

The goal at this age is to find a good balance between school, home and church. And don’t forget to include family time and one-on-one time with you in their weekly schedule.