Instrument Of Change (1-31-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

God often uses pain as the instrument to move His children from foolish thinking to wisdom.  Likewise, consequences in the lives of our own children can bring about corrected behavior.

It’s hard for some parents to allow their child to feel any form of pain from consequences, so they rescue them. But for teenagers, inappropriate behavior changes only when the pleasure received from wrong choices is overridden by the pain of consequences.  I’m not talking about physical pain, but the loss of certain freedoms for a time.

So, parents need to learn to allow consequences happen, and not lessen them, or they’ll start a cycle of having to rescue their child again and again, from ever increasing wrongdoing, for their entire life.

WEEKEND: Help for Single Parents (1-29-2011)

HALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY:

Single parenting is tough!  And these days, there’s a lot more people tackling this challenge than ever before.  Whether you’re on your own because of divorce, separation or an emotionally uninvolved spouse, find help on this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens with Mark Gregston.  Special guest: Michael Card.

Change Your Style for Teens (1-28-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

The only thing more difficult than being a teenager today is to be the parent of a teenager today.

In the earlier years, parents can get lulled into thinking that this parenting thing is a piece of cake. And then the teen years hit and it’s time for a reality check.

That’s when parents need to adjust their parenting style, in the teen years moving from authoritarian to relational, from total control to allowing the teen to make her own decisions, and from “Don’t question what you’re told” to “Here’s why we do or don’t do certain things.”

Exasperation and rebellion can be a byproduct of parents who don’t make the shift. So, take stock of your parenting style and determine if it’s adjusting right along with your child’s age and maturity.

Teen Changeability (1-27-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Teens can change their tastes and their looks as often as they change their mind.  But that’s pretty normal.

Adolescence is all about trying on independence, and that includes sudden changes in thinking.  One minute they may wish to go to college, and the next not.  One minute they may enjoy being around their family, and the next treat them like total strangers.  They’ll “die” if they cannot get a new fashion one minute and “die” if they have to wear that new fashion the next.  All of this can be confusing to parents and even seem rebellious, but it really isn’t.

At this time, teenagers need the solid foundation of parents who won’t change, and who aren’t offended by their teen’s changeable thinking. So, don’t take it personally.  It’s just a stage they are going through.

Talking Points (1-26-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

It’s a mistake to think that your teen or even your preteen isn’t wanting to talk about issues that you might consider to be beyond their years.

Parents can too easily avoid talking about sensitive issues, even if their children bring them up.  It’s common for a parent of a preteen to say, “You shouldn’t even think about that at your age,” but they are thinking about it, so it does need to be talked about.

Studies show that kids do want to talk to their parents about issues that are troubling them.  So be sure they know you are always open to do so.  If not, the only perspective they’ll gain on such issues will be from television, their peers and the internet.

Positive Feedback (1-25-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Kids may not go out of their way to say so, but they value positive feedback from their parents more than from just about anybody.

A parent’s well-timed feedback can encourage good decisions and shore up wobbly relationships. The key is to deliver feedback at the right moment, in the right way, and with the right motives.

So be on the lookout for mature behavior in your teenager and then use that moment to encourage more of the same.  Tell them how proud you are of them and offer them more freedoms as a reward, like use of the car or a later curfew. It will go a long way toward encouraging maturity and good judgment in your teenager in the future.

Connection After Correction (1-24-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Parents are likely to discipline their teenager and walk away.  But I find that correction without connection can lead to contempt.

When you discipline, if you fail to make an effort to also connect with your teen, the correction can seem arbitrary and mean. Unless your teen understands that correction is for their own good, they’ll just become angry with you, not themselves, for having to be corrected.

So take a minute to remind your teen of the reasoning behind your rules. Reinforce that similar discipline is in store each time they break the rules.  Assure them that you wish they didn’t have to be corrected, and that you know they can do better. That way, even times of discipline can strengthen your relationship.

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WEEKEND: When Good Kids Go Bad (1-22-2011)

Life Lessons from Observation (1-21-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Kids watch and learn from our life far more than anything we say.

If you couldn’t say a word to your children, they’d still learn most of what you’d teach them. Not because you’re a poor talker, but because kids don’t learn from our words. They learn from how we live.  Kids watch us day in and day out.  They see how we react to others, how we trust or don’t trust God, and how we help those in need. They see what it is like to be honest and to hold up values, and they see the opposite as well.

What you do today speaks volumes to your teenager.  So make sure what you are telling them with your life matches up with what you’d teach them with words.

Too Much Negativity (1-20-2011)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Teens can be pretty negative and moody. But isn’t that normal?

As teens become more independent, they may act like they are rebelling, when they really aren’t.  In fact, they may question everything you’ve taught them, and display a certain amount of increased assertiveness, opinionating, complaining, secretiveness, stubbornness, and being critical about their parents or other authorities.  They may also have some forgetfulness, mood swings, giddiness, and make poor decisions.  As annoying as this can be to parents, it is actually quite normal for teenagers.

But this negative phase is usually temporary.  Most kids get safely on the other side, where they will again see the wisdom of their parent’s beliefs, especially as they begin to deal with life on their own.