Handling Anger (6-30-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Do you give your teenager the freedom to blow up and act extremely immature without losing your love for them?

It’s easy to love your teen when they’re happy and behaving. But what about when they scream they hate you, slam doors, and kick your dog?

The best way to handle extreme outbursts is to answer their anger with love. Calmly let them know you love them, period. Don’t let them off the hook for their bad behavior, but separate their actions from your love for them.

Tell them, “There’s nothing you can do to make me love you more, and there’s nothing you can do to make me love you less. I’ll always love you just the same.”

Teens Learning To Take Direction (6-29-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

No one likes being told what to do, but it’s a part of life, so teens need to learn to willingly take direction.

A sign of maturity is to accept being told what to do. We all have to…in school, in our jobs, and as citizens. So, the earlier one accepts this truth, the better.

Teens should make small decisions, like what meal to order or what clothes to wear; but they still need direction in life from a wise manager, even if they don’t want one. Your goal is to help your kids get to where they want to go, and to keep them from where they don’t want to go, even if they don’t yet know which is which.

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Ask Mark to come put on a Turbulence Ahead conference.  Click this link to vote for your town.

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Confident Parenting (6-28-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

John Rosemond, in his book “A Family of Value” says parents need to be “good actors,” inspiring their children by displaying confidence in their own decisions – even if they secretly wonder if their decisions are right.

According to Rosemond, parenting is like leading a country. If the president is indecisive or waffles, the people tend to lose confidence and faith in him.  Applying this leadership principle to your family, vacillating about decisions in front of your teen will cause them to lose faith in you. They’ll think your decisions are arbitrary and subject to change or interpretation.

On the other hand, acting confident and being consistent in your own decisions will help your teenager remain consistently confident in you.

WEEKEND: Drugs and Alcohol (6-26-2010)

HALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY:

Many parents believe that a normal, healthy family life will prevent their kids from experimenting with drugs and alcohol.  But, as teens are exposed to these activities without parents’ knowledge, no family is immune from substance abuse!  On this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston educates parents on the actions that’ll help prevent drug use.

No Bribes Here (6-25-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Some parents make the mistake of accepting bribes by their teenager to get around the rules.

If it’s improper a young teen to go to an R-rated movie, then why do some parents cave in when they’re offered a bribe like, “If you let me go, I’ll go to youth group this week!”

Accepting such bribes does two things. First, that the parent really didn’t believe in their own rule, or they wouldn’t have reversed it under any circumstances. And second, it tells the teen that all they need is a bride each time to get what they want.

Don’t accept bribes from your teen. It only serves to discredit your authority and confuse your rules.

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Our next Families in Crisis Conference is July 15-17…go to www.familycrisisconference.com to learn more.

Get Help This Summer (6-24-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

When a teen is bored, rebellious, and bent on getting into trouble, summer can become the worst time of the year for the whole family.

Instead of dreading another summer with a misbehaving teen, it can be an opportune time to get them the help they need. There are a number of therapeutic summer wilderness programs around the country set up to address behavioral issues. Some programs also deal with substance abuse and addictions.

Unlike youth or family camps, where troubled teens tend to cause more problems than are solved, a therapeutic program may be exactly what your teen needs this summer to get back on track in life and for a more successful re-entry into school next fall.

Get First Things First (6-23-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

It often comes as a surprise to the parents of misbehaving teenagers when I tell them that unless they get their marriage ironed out first, they’ll not be able to help their teen.

Teens tend to be hyper-sensitive in regard to relational problems between their parents, even if the problems have been carefully hidden.

When relationship difficulties exist between parents, it’s not uncommon for it to also ignite behavioral problems with their teenage children. So, if your teen is out of control, be sure to look at your own marital relationship first, and get help if needed. Strengthening your marriage may be what’s needed to also help your teen get back on a solid footing.

Prescription for Peer Pressure (6-22-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Pressure by their peers to break or bend your rules is difficult for your child to avoid during the teen years. But there’s one way to deter such mistakes.

When given the choice between right and wrong, your teen will be better equipped to make an informed choice – the right choice — if they know the exact consequences well in advance. Losing the car, cell phone or their freedom on weekends can become both a deterrent and a valid excuse to offer their provoking friends.

There’s nothing like knowing what’s in store. If the consequences are clear, and if the pain expected to result from the misbehavior outweighs the pleasure, your teen will have ample reason to avoid it.

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Is your family in crisis with a rebellious or angry teen? Come to Texas to learn how to stop the chaos from Mark Gregston, July 15-17, on the Heartlight campus.

Teens and Sleepovers (6-21-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Parents often report to me that their teen was first introduced to drugs, alcohol, same-sex relationships, pornography, or eating disorders during sleepovers with their friends – even friends from good Christian families.

Sadly, parents who allow their teenagers to stay overnight with friends are asking for some serious experimenting. After the parents fall asleep, kids try to outdo each other in regard to how far they will go, armed with the latest vices and stories from the Internet.

That’s why I recommend that slumber parties stop at age ten. From then on, the normally innocent agenda of pizza and pillow fights, tends to shift to things that can taint a child’s mind and bring a lifetime of remorse.

WEEKEND: Destructive Teen Behavior (6-19-2010)

HALF-HOUR PROGRAM SUMMARY:

It’s normal for teens to be both curious and relational.  But, occasionally they take things to the extreme—even to the point of harming themselves.  Some of these destructive behaviors include cutting, the choking game, running away, drinking or using their parents’ prescription drugs.  On this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston provides tools for parents to cultivate a relationship with their teen and counteract the desire to engage in extreme behavior.