Keep It Honest (5-31-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

We live in a society that values self-esteem so much that we’re afraid to give children proper feedback.

Handing every race participant a trophy just for trying just doesn’t seem right to me. The winner should receive the trophy, and that will encourage everyone else to do better next time.

Educational psychologists have convinced us to not to tell children like it is, or it may hurt their self-esteem. However, what it hurts is their ability to know what they are truly good at, what they’re not good at, and when they need to do better.

So, parents, keep it honest … give your children truthful feedback and redirection when they need it, and applause when they’ve earned it.

WEEKEND: Dealing With Teen Dishonesty (5-29-2010)

HALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY:

Reports show that teen dishonesty is on the rise. So how do parents deal with lying and disrespect in their own home? Mark Gregston deals with teen dishonesty.

SPECIAL GUEST: Tim Kimmel is the Executive Director of Family Matters. He has written books and given seminars to help families address the unique pressures in today’s culture.

The Family Citizen (5-28-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Unfortunately, many of today’s teenagers make no meaningful contribution to their families.

Many teenagers today have nothing more to contribute to the family than reluctantly taking out the garbage or picking up their room after being told again and again. That’s not a contribution. At that point it is more like self-preservation.

Kids need to be given responsibilities in the family that they can claim and make happen without parental badgering. It builds a sense of value and belonging. If they don’t have time, adjust their schedule to make time.

Kids who make no meaningful contribution to the family tend to grow up feeling entitled and self-absorbed, making them rotten spouses, parents and citizens as well.

Waffling on the Consequences (5-27-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

A parent is his own worst enemy when he waffles on the rules or makes idle threats.

It takes effort to properly discipline children, and that’s why it is easier for parents to warn, warn again, and then with a raised voice, warn yet again, instead of calmy applying consequences.

Warnings serve to tell kids that they have multiple opportunities to avoid the consequences, and they quickly learn just how far they can exasperate their parents before they’ll take action. So, the house ends up in a state of chaos most of the time.

Calm the chaos by sitting your kids down to line out the rules and consequences. Tell them they won’t be given warnings from now on…and then be sure to stick to it.

First-Time Consequences (5-26-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

When a teenager misbehaves, parents can nip it in the bud by applying disproportionate first-time consequences.

For teenagers, each wrong deed can be a stepping stone to a more serious misstep, so teach a memorable lesson the very first time they are caught and they’ll never think about making that same mistake again.

For instance, if you catch your teenager drinking and driving, it might get their attention to donate their car to a local charity. Or, the first time they miss curfew, requiring them to volunteer at the local mission every weekend for a month might be the ticket.

Make first-time consequence both uncomfortable and memorable, and they’ll be a deterrent for a lifetime.

Failed Consequences (5-25-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

I am often asked what a parent should do if the consequences fail to correct their unusually stubborn teenager’s behavior.

Reasonable consequences, like the loss of certain freedoms, are designed to make it uncomfortable for a teen to continue making poor decisions. But sometimes the teen will hold out longer than the parents expect.

My advice to them is to hang in there, even if there seems to be no positive effect. Eventually it will take hold. And if you stop or lessen the consequences, you’ll be giving your teenager exactly what he was holding out for, and you’ll lose your ability to correct them in the future.

So hang in there!

What the Bible Says About Discipline (5-24-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

For those who believe that discipline and correction is ungodly and unloving, let’s look at what the Bible says.

Proverbs 3:12 says, “The Lord disciplines those He loves.” Proverbs 29:17 says, “Discipline your son, and he will give you peace”. In Proverbs 15:32 it says, “He who ignores discipline despises himself.” And Proverbs 19:18 says it all, “Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.”

Discipline is a principle sanctioned by God and found in references and stories throughout scripture. So, you can be sure that there is no more loving and godly form of parenting than to provide proper discipline to your children.

WEEKEND: Confronting Teen Mistakes (5-22-2010)

HALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY:

How you respond to your teen’s mistakes determines your relationship with them going forward. On this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston puts parent-teen confrontation into perspective. Special Guest: Bill Zeiglar (Bill is the principal of a suburban middle school in Pennsylvania and is the host of the nationally syndicated radio program called TIPPS.)

Down the Road (5-21-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Kids learning to drive often struggle to keep the car steady until they are told to focus on the middle of the road far ahead, instead of the road directly in front of them.

Parents would do well to also take the longer look-ahead, envisioning their child when they are 30 and focusing on the big things that will prepare their teenager for life on their own. Since very little preparation for life comes from what’s learned at school, parents need to have their own plan for teaching character and life principles.

We have a precious short time in which to help children mature into confident adults. So plan and implement today your child’s training plan for their life tomorrow.

Most Important Influences (5-20-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

You and your family need to be the most important daily influence in your teenager’s life.

I believe that the family should be the most important daily influence in their teenager’s life; not television, not school, not coaches, not peers, and surely not the computer or video games.

To find out, do a survey of your teenager’s time. Then trim out what’s taking up too much of it. If you can’t imagine what to do with your teenager, think in terms of having meals together, working on chores, volunteering, traveling, playing games, starting hobbies, and participating in events you all enjoy.

The teen years is no time to allow your teen to check out of the family.

What Comes First For You? (5-19-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Who’s more important to you, your kids or your spouse?

If you’re a parent and your marriage is not the most important part of your life, it could be hurting your ability to be a good father or mother as well.

The consequences of being child-focused instead of being spouse-focused include: offering a poor role model to your children for what marriage is all about, giving your children an undue sense of entitlement, and creating kids who are reluctant to take responsibility. That sounds like a lot of kids today, doesn’t it?

Mom and dad, focus on your marriage above all else, including your parenting. Your marriage is the best teacher and legacy you can leave your children.

Team Players (5-18-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Team sports are not the only way to teach a child teamwork and discipline.

Athletics can be a good physical outlet for a teenager, but outside of the very small percentage of kids who go on to make it a career, the benefits of organized sports can be short-lived. Parents shouldn’t allow it to replace other “team” activities that may do more to prepare their teenager for adulthood. This includes having meaningful responsibilities at home, working in a part-time job, volunteering, and spending quality time with the family.

Being a team player in all walks of life, including at work and at home, is often more important for their maturity than focusing all of their time on a sports team.

Psychological Crazes (5-17-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Not all teenage misbehavior has a psychological cause, as some experts may lead you to believe.

Every form of misbehavior today seems to have a psychological term and related medication to solve it. Those who coin these terms and patent the medical “cures” can paralyze a parent’s ability to discipline their teen, because that would be insensitive to the child’s so-called “illness.” The fact is, children do not need a sickness to misbehave. It comes naturally and wise parenting can correct it.

But some struggles are ignited by childhood trauma, loss, or abandonment in the child’s life. When it comes to the surface in the teen years, loving counseling may be the best cure.

WEEKEND: Rule-Making and Ruling (5-15-2010)

HALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY:

You can either rule your home or allow the rules to govern your home. On this weekend edition of Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston describes the difference and which parenting style is better for teens.

The Adopted Family (5-14-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Adoptive parents can take steps to help their adopted child work through identity issues during the teen years.

Adopted children often have to work through grief, anger and feelings of abandonment, especially if they were adopted later in life. But adoptive parents will soothe these difficulties by openly discussing the child’s birth and their family history.

Make the adopted child an equal part of your family, while at the same time, valuing their unique origins. And avoid spoiling the child with too many material things or added freedoms.

The bottom line is this…the more normally you treat your adopted child, the more normal they’ll feel and they’ll have fewer issues with identity.

Dating…Why Wait? (5-13-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Josh McDowell, who came to give a talk to our teenagers at Heartlight some time ago, revealed some startling statistics about teens and dating in his “Why Wait?” research.

Josh’s research revealed that when it comes to dating, maturity does make a difference. In a shocking comparison, a child who begins dating at age 12 is at least four times more likely to become sexually active before graduation than a teenager who begins dating at age 16. Even a year makes a difference…a 15 year old is twice as likely to have sex before graduation as waiting until age 16 to begin dating.

Whatever your views on dating, be sure to know that waiting a few years is likely a smart choice.

In this new e-book, Mark provides helpful steps for parents to create rules in the home that make sense to everyone involved, including your teenagers. Get control of your home with Mark’s timeless tips. Pass it on to a friend! (Format: WORD or PDF).

DOWNLOAD >>

Steps to Restoration (5-12-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Without a strong relationship with their teenager, parents applying consequences to correct misbehavior can find their relationship crumbling even further.

Begin to restore a broken relationship with your teen by first asking God for guidance. Then find a place where you two can talk one-on-one without interruption.

Start out by identifying with your teenager’s pain, and ask forgiveness for any part you may have played in the broken relationship. Keep personal attacks out of it and avoid accusations or piling on. Don’t aim to resolve misbehavior, nor lessen the consequences. Just use the time to express how much you value and love them, and be sure to establish a weekly time to reconnect to maintain the relationship.

Attractive Life or Not? (5-11-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

The greatest teaching tool for a parent is to make their life more attractive than their teen’s.

I’ve never met a troubled teen who wants to be just like his parents. Usually the opposite is true – he’s looked at his parents’ life and doesn’t want anything to do with it. Therefore, he also don’t want anything to do with his parent’s advice, beliefs, or values.

The best training a parent can give a teenager is to quietly live a life worth emulating…in your actions, in your relationships, in what you hold dear, and in your general happiness.

Live an unhappy, boring, disappointing, and meaningless life – and don’t be surprised if your teen chooses something far different.

In this new e-book, Mark provides helpful steps for parents to create rules in the home that make sense to everyone involved, including your teenagers. Get control of your home with Mark’s timeless tips. Pass it on to a friend! (Format: WORD or PDF).

DOWNLOAD >>

True Greatness (5-10-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Parents want their children to be successful, but financial success isn’t a guarantee of life success.

My friend Tim Kimmel describes “truly great kids” as those who have an unquenchable love and concern for others. He says, “We can sabotage our children’s future when we encourage them to make financial success their goal, rather than living a truly great life.”

So, how can greatness be taught? By demonstrating a reverence for God and respect for others. By an appreciation for what we’ve been given and Who has given it. By delighting in sharing with others. And by taking action to help others.

True success is more about giving, serving and caring than it is about taking, profiting and conquering.

In this new e-book, Mark provides helpful steps for parents to create rules in the home that make sense to everyone involved, including your teenagers. Get control of your home with Mark’s timeless tips.  Pass it on to a friend! (Format: WORD or PDF). 

COMPLIMENTARY DOWNLOAD >>

WEEKEND: Second Chances (5-8-2010)

HALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY:

Mark Gregston coaches parents on giving second, third and fourth chances. Moms and dads learn to value their teens, not enable them.

SPECIAL GUEST: Dr. Tim Kimmel

Role Playing (5-7-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Role playing by parents can help a teenager make better decisions.

Teens may shy away from talking to their parents about uncomfortable issues, but that’s exactly what they want and need to do. 

So, dad’s, take your daughter out and have a talk about how guys think, and how important modesty is. Have her come up with good defensive words for the aggressive boys, and say those out loud in practice.

Mom’s, tell your son how a woman should be treated and respected. Walk him through similar mock discussions.

The point is this; don’t leave it to their peers to tell them how they should act around the opposite sex. A little role playing now will help them know how to act later.

Where Integrity Starts (5-6-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

We seem to have lost integrity and respect in our society today. So how can parents best teach it to their children?

Building integrity has more to do with good parenting than anything. So, first of all, parents need to be an example of integrity. Bad habits like lying, cheating, or being disrespectful to others nearly always rub off on your children. If you’ve been dishonest, apologize to your kids and show them how you’ve worked to set it straight.

Second, dishonesty tends to grow incrementally, so catch it early on in your children. Never tolerate even the smallest lie, cheating, or disrespect when they are young, and it won’t become a problem when they are older.

Look In the Interactive Manual (5-5-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Like a master teaching an apprentice where to find answers, Christian parents have a life manual to point their children to.

As kids begin to reason in their teen years, it’s important for them to learn that scripture is God’s living Word — a storehouse of answers and their own personal manual for living.

When they have a problem, they can seek God’s answers in scripture by first taking a minute to ask him to speak through His Word. Then, even the most mundane passages of scripture will come alive and speak truth like never before. The Bible will become your teen’s interactive life manual if you point them to it at every opportunity.

Visions of Faith (5-4-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

The Bible says that faith comes by hearing, but I believe it is also learned by seeing it authentically lived out by parents.

Parents can demonstrate a lifestyle of faith to their children in many ways – by allowing your children to see you regularly reading the Bible and by turning to God in the good times as often as in the bad.

Talk about your family’s heritage of faith and how you became a believer. Don’t buy into the notion that you shouldn’t push your children toward any one faith. That’s simply a lie. Your single most important duty as a parent is to influence your children’s faith, and that includes modeling an authentic and unapologetic Christian yourself.

Like a Firecracker (5-03-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Some teens are wound so tightly that they end up exploding like a firecracker.

I enjoy working with fireworks, so I know that the tight wrapping causes a firecracker to explode with a loud bang, instead of just a quick flash of gunpowder.

Some kids are wound up like that; they feel little freedom to express themselves at home, so they end up exploding in a rage, damaging their relationships and bringing stress to the whole family.

A teen is less likely to explode if they know they will be heard and are given freedom to openly and respectfully express their frustrations. Parents who peel away their teen’s layers of frustration will prevent build-ups that lead to explosions.