Touch Your Teen’s Heart (1-19-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

If a teenager shares what is on her heart, and a parent misses it by not really listening, that’s when she’ll quit sharing altogether.

Teens want someone who will listen to them.  If your teen is in the shutdown mode, there is a reason.  And that may be that you don’t listen to what’s really being said.

Dads may hear the words, but what’s unsaid and the visual clues usually don’t make it through their logical filter. So, dad’s, it’s time to change the filters.  Sit down with your teen in a setting conducive to talking.  Try to focus on the heart of what’s being said, not the words and not the logic.

Just listen to your teen, and she just might open her heart to you.
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Stressed Out Teens (1-18-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Does your teenager seem more stressed out these days?

The American Psychological Association has found that a third of teenagers report feeling more stress this year than just a year ago; about family finances, over what comes after high school and about school in general. What’s more surprising is that their parents for the most part seem oblivious to their teenager’s stress levels.

Symptoms of stress can include: irritability, being sensitive to criticism, habits such as nail-biting, sleeping problems, substance abuse, indigestion, loss of concentration, and headaches.

Does that sound like your teen? If so, you can help by ensuring you home is a refuge not a battle ground, and by encouraging them to talk about the stresses in their life.

WEEKLY: Missed Opportunities (1-16-2010)

WEEKLY HALF-HOUR PROGRAM SUMMARY:

For parents, it’s easy to get distracted – even becoming too busy to notice what’s going on in a teen’s life.  Learn how to take advantage of the opportunity to make a change in your family . . .  on this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens with Mark Gregston.

Buttering Up Your Teen (1-15-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

A positive word, hug or smile every day may be all it takes to propel your teenager to success.

According to former pastor and leading business author John C. Maxwell, “Man does not live on bread alone: sometimes he needs a little buttering up!”

Teens need “buttering up” more than anyone else. Words they would benefit from hearing more often are: “Thanks! You really made a difference,” or, “I couldn’t have done it better myself,” or, “I enjoyed working on that with you.”

And be on the lookout for improvements to praise, not just the successes. You can even make encouragement a family thing by asking everyone at dinner to name 3 things each family member either does well or has improved.

Teens And The Here And Now (1-14-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Teenagers tend to think in terms of the here and now, not lifelong consequences for their actions.

Why do kids take unnecessary risks? It’s because they rarely think about the future. That’s why it’s important for parents to point out short term consequences for doing wrong.

For instance, saying, “Smoking makes you cough and your clothes and will breath smell bad” is actually more of a deterrent than saying, “You could die someday from cancer.” And with alcohol, saying, “It can make you do stupid things you’ll regret, and you’ll lose your license if we find out” are more persuasive than saying, “It could eventually ruin your liver.”

So, be sure to think in the here and now when warning your teenager. The future holds little meaning to them.

Argue Well With Your Teen (1-13-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

In some homes, arguing with parents isn’t allowed. But if done right, arguing can be good thing.

Conflict isn’t always bad. It can reveal things both you and your teen to deal with, but there are some do’s and don’ts of arguing.

The do’s are: always maintain respect, focus on the problem, be specific about your complaint, and find a way to compromise, if possible.

The don’ts are: no name-calling, no questioning motives, and no bringing up the past.

One person talks at a time, then the listener repeats the gist of what the other said before getting a turn. If respect breaks down, then stop to allow things to cool down before starting again. Learning how to argue respectfully is an important skill every teen needs to learn.

Take Care What You Say To Your Teen (1-12-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Did you know your teenager’s self-esteem is at least partly in your hands?

We all know that self-esteem is important, so here are a few ways you can build it in your teenager:

First, ask their opinion, and respect it, and make them feel more useful in your home by helping with some of the “adult” chores, like writing checks for the bills or making a dish for dinner. Don’t do for them what they can do for themselves; and allow them to overhear you praising them to others.

Fact is, what they “over-hear” is far more potent than what they are told directly, though they need to be told as well. Amazingly, even teenagers believe what their parents say, so be sure what you say builds them up.

Keep Your Teen Talking (1-11-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

When you talk to teenagers, do it mostly with your eyes and ears.

I’ve always believed that problems are best solved when they are small. And with teens, parents sometimes get in the way by talking too much.

So do this. When your child talks, be sure to stop everything to listen. Allow them to complete their thought before you respond. Then repeat what you heard them say to ensure that you understand them correctly.

Keep in mind that they may test you by telling you just part of the story, to first see how you’ll respond. It’s not until you get the full story can you help them solve the problem — before it gets too big. So keep them talking and praise them for sharing!

Fight, Flight or Freeze (1-09-2010)

WEEKLY PODCAST SUMMARY:

Every teen runs into difficulty, it’s part of the human experience. But when parents haven’t prepared them to function in this culture… teens will respond one of three ways: fight, flight or freeze. Mark Gregston reviews each reaction on this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens.

Perspective In A Teen’s Shoes (1-08-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

When teens mess up, they are usually not doing so to hurt you, or to reject everything you’ve taught them. So, be sure to take a minute to gain some perspective before responding.

You might be thinking, “You have no idea what I’ve been going through with my child.” But since I live with 50 teens, I can well imagine.

Even so, you need to understand that teens are being influenced by a culture that is giving them permission and license to do these things. It doesn’t mean that they’ve lost their way; they’ve just stepped off the path and need to be nudged back with appropriate consequences, seasoned with an attitude of love, compassion and empathy.

Before responding, be sure to put yourself in their shoes.