Home » Teens Need To Belong (1-21-2010)
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Teens Need To Belong (1-21-2010)
PODCAST SCRIPT:
To “belong” is your child’s underlying goal, so how you approach them about misbehavior can make all the difference.
I often tell parents to be discerning of the moment. When a teenager expects anger and punishment, maybe give them a big hug instead. Remember, the behavior may be bad, but the child isn’t. Underneath their sometimes abrasive exterior, they want to belong. And if they don’t feel like they “belong” at home, they’ll seek out other places to belong.
Never make a child feel as though they are an outsider in your family, no matter how badly they act. Being your child’s parent means to both hand out consequences for bad behavior, and to also offer plenty of love, acceptance and “belonging” at the same time.
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Family Crisis Conference
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Christian Boarding Schools
About Mark Gregston:
Mark Gregston is the Founder and Executive Director of Heartlight Ministries, a Christian residential counseling program for struggling teenagers, located in East Texas.
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Archives
- ▼ 2010
- ▼ March 2010
-
- Underlying Needs (3-11-2010)
- The Turnaround (3-10-2010)
- Teens Focused on Their Pain (3-9-2010)
- Wrong Thinking in Teens (3-8-2010)
- WEEKEND: Management of Medical Issues (3-6-2010)
- Hard Questions (3-5-2010)
- Complete Independence (3-4-2010)
- Junk Heap Parenting (3-3-2010)
- Shared Custody - Two Sets of Standards (3-2-2010)
- Eternal Investments (3-1-2010)
- ▼ February 2010
-
- WEEKEND: Fired By Your Teen (2-27-2010)
- Brutal Self-Awareness (2-26-2010)
- Help From Heartlight (2-25-2010)
- Fading Teen Fads (2-24-2010)
- Relationships Are Eternal (2-23-2010)
- Parents Aren’t Perfect (2-22-2010)
- WEEKEND: Building Responsibility in Tweens (2-20-2010)
- Success in Life (2-19-2010)
- Mistakes Happen (2-18-2010)
- Next Steps Toward Maturity (2-17-2010)
- New Levels of Teen Dishonesty (2-16-2010)
- Listening Begets Listening (2-15-2010)
- WEEKEND: Building Responsibility in Tweens (2-13-2010)
- Laughing Matters (2-12-2010)
- Managing Teen Confrontation (2-11-2010)
- Continued Love (2-10-2010)
- Teen Struggles (2-09-2010)
- Hidden Causes of Teen Problems (02-08-2010)
- WEEKEND: FamilyLife Today II (2-06-2010)
- God’s Exciting Plan For Me (2-5-2010)
- Purposeful Tears And Goosebumps (2-4-2010)
- Important Question For Teens (2-3-2010)
- Finding God’s Purpose (2-2-2010)
- Teens Seeking Purpose (2-1-2010)
- ▼ January 2010
-
- WEEKEND: Megan's Story (1-30-2010)
- Teen Stress Test (1-29-2010)
- Handling Teen Discipline (1-28-2010)
- Love Is Never To Be Bargained With (1-27-2010)
- Teen Rebellion True Or False (1-26-2010)
- Teen Freedom, Sooner (1-25-2010)
- WEEKEND: Iceberg or Ice Cube? (1-23-2010)
- Fixing Parental Mistakes (1-22-2010)
- Teens Need To Belong (1-21-2010)
- Ask Your Teen Lots Of Questions (1-20-2010)
- Touch Your Teen’s Heart (1-19-2010)
- Stressed Out Teens (1-18-2010)
- WEEKLY: Missed Opportunities (1-16-2010)
- Buttering Up Your Teen (1-15-2010)
- Teens And The Here And Now (1-14-2010)
- Argue Well With Your Teen (1-13-2010)
- Take Care What You Say To Your Teen (1-12-2010)
- Keep Your Teen Talking (1-11-2010)
- Fight, Flight or Freeze (1-09-2010)
- Perspective In A Teen’s Shoes (1-08-2010)
- Labeled a Problem Child (1-07-2010)
- Parents Need To Lean On God (1-06-2010)
- Parents Can Mess Up Too (1-05-2010)
- Teens Learning To Take Control (1-4-2010)
- WEEKLY: Speaking Your Kid's Language (1-2-2010)
- Options For Teen Fellowship (1-1-2010)
- ▼ 2009
- ▼ December 2009
-
- Counteracting Teen Selfishness (12-31-2009)
- Keep It In Check (12-30-2009)
- Helping Teens Solve Problems (12-29-2009)
- Ruling Versus Rulemaking (12-28-2009)
- WEEKLY: We'll Keep the Light On for You (12-26-2009)
- Stops and Starts (12-25-2009)
- Christmas Gifts (12-24-2009)
- Adoption's Example (12-23-2009)
- Adoption Stability (12-22-2009)
- Adoption Grace (12-21-2009)
- WEEKLY: Christmas Stress in the Family (12-19-2009)
- A Better Way to Listen to Your Teen (12-18-2009)
- An End to Parenting Anxiety (12-17-2009)
- Pain’s Megaphone (12-16-2009)
- Calm In The Midst Of The Storm (12-15-2009)
- Have Fun With Your Teen (12-14-2009)
- WEEKLY: Leading Your Lost Teen Home (12-12-2009)
- Weekly Contact (12-11-2009)
- Prayers for a Prodigal (12-10-2009)
- Intentionally Teaching Character (12-09-2009)
- Lost in the Translation (12-08-2009)
- But For The Grace Of God (12-07-2009)
- WEEKLY: Map and Compass for Your Teen (12-05-2009)
- A True Friend (12-04-2009)
- Three Character Qualities (12-03-2009)
- An Informed Decision (12-02-2009)
- Susanna’s Intervention (12-1-2009)
- ▼ November 2009
-
- Holiday Gift (11-30-2009)
- WEEKLY: Parents Being Thankful (11-28-2009)
- Plead With A Prodigal (11-27-2009)
- Welcome Prodigals Back Home (11-26-2009)
- Setting Expectations Too High (11-25-2009)
- Pray For And Acknowledge Your Teen (11-24-2009)
- Point Them to Christ (11-23-2009)
- WEEKLY: When a Parent's Authority is Lost (11-21-2009)
- It Is Up To The Child (11-20-2009)
- Distinguishing Between Good And Evil (11-19-2009)
- Disconnect Between Teens And Parents (11-18-2009)
- Be Watchful (11-17-2009)
- Don’t Push Off (11-16-2009)
- WEEKLY: The Answers Adopted Teens Seek (11-14-2009)
- Turbulence Ahead (11-13-2009)
- Unique To Adoption (11-12-2009)
- Turn From Lecturing To Listening (11-11-2009)
- Adopted Teen Struggles (11-10-2009)
- Teens Accomplishing Their Own Goals (11-09-2009)
- WEEKLY: Dealing with the Difficult Adoption (11-07-2009)
- Age of Maturity (11-06-2009)
- It’s Up To Them (11-05-2009)
- Never Too Late (11-04-2009)
- Senseless Acts Of Insecurity (11-03-2009)
- Mad Dash Parenting (11-02-2009)
- ▼ October 2009
-
- WEEKLY: When Teens Will Not Go to Church (10-31-2009)
- Stops and Starts in Parenting Teens (10-30-2009)
- Judging the Adult Child (10-29-2009)
- Supporting the Step-Parent (10-28-2009)
- Parenting Mistakes in Divorce (10-27-2009)
- The Impact of Divorce on Teenagers (10-26-2009)
- WEEKLY: Giving Your Teen Proper Freedoms (10-24-2009)
- More Time with Parents (10-23-2009)
- Damage Control for Teens and Divorce (10-22-2009)
- Updating the Parenting Style (10-21-2009)
- Don't Quit Parenting Your Teenager (10-20-2009)
- Constructive Feedback for Teens (10-19-2009)
- WEEKLY: When Divorce Affects Your Teen (10-17-2009)
- Pain Can Be a Good Thing (10-16-2009)
- Wisdom From Consequences (10-15-2009)
- Perfect Kids and Imperfect Choices (10-14-2009)
- Going Through Stages (10-13-2009)
- Not Alone (10-12-2009)
- WEEKLY: Encouragement for Weary Parents (10-10-2009)
- Correcting or Connecting (10-09-2009)
- Defining Moments in Parenting (10-08-2009)
- What Is Underneath Is What Counts (10-7-2009)
- The Family Resort (10-06-2009)
- Puzzling Teens (10-5-2009)
- WEEKLY: Counter-Productive Teen Discipline (10-3-2009)
- A Long Obedience in the Same Direction (10-02-2009)
- Rebellion True or False (10-01-2009)
- ▼ September 2009
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- Far and Away (9-30-2009)
- Boundaries for Your Teen (9-29-2009)
- The Overindulged Teen (9-28-2009)
- WEEKLY: Types of Parents that Kids Hate (9-26-2009)
- Performance-Based Parents (9-25-2009)
- Parents Who Nag (9-24-2009)
- Never Enough for Parents (9-23-2009)
- The Disengaged Parent (9-22-2009)
- Failing Well (9-21-2009)
- WEEKLY: When Parents Feel Isolated (9-19-2009)
- Focused on God (9-18-2009)
- Families in Crisis Face Isolation (9-17-2009)
- Churches Can Do More (9-16-2009)
- Bridges in Parenting (9-15-2009)
- Teens Never Ask for Help (9-14-2009)
- WEEKLY: Teen Trauma from 9-11 Disaster (9-12-2009)
- Rejection Fallout From Troubled Teens (9-11-2009)
- Prodigal Pirates (9-10-2009)
- Keep Hope Alive (9-09-2009)
- Don’t Ever Quit Being a Parent (9-08-2009)
- No Immunity for Christian Parents (9-07-2009)
- WEEKLY: Teens Who Demand (9-05-2009)
- Wall of Words (9-04-2009)
- Parents Who Encourage Teen Immaturity (9-03-2009)
- Teens Who Demand Too Much (9-02-2009)
- ▼ August 2009
-
- Demanding Teens (9-1-2009)
- Embracing the Sinful Child (8-31-2009)
- WEEKLY: Ten Ways to Rebuild a Relationship with Your Teen (8-29-2009)
- Teen Selfishness (8-28-2009)
- Power Over Teen Drug Use (8-27-2009)
- Building Maturity in Teens (8-26-2009)
- Stop Nagging Your Teen (8-25-2009)
- The Discerning Years (8-24-2009)
- WEEKEND: Assessing Your Troubled Teen (8-22-2009)
- Giving Up to Gain (8-21-2009)
- Managing Conflict Together (8-20-2009)
- Hero to Zero (8-19-2009)
- Never Quit (8-18-2009)
- Pick Your Battles Wisely (8-17-2009)
- WEEKEND: Understanding Teenage Selfishness (8-15-2009)
- Not Allowing Disrespect (8-14-2009)
- Out of Control Teen Behavior (8-13-2009)
- Hard Lessons for Teens (8-12-2009)
- What Is Happening To My Teen? (8-11-2009)
- Years to Teen Maturity (8-10-2009)
- WEEKEND: Signs of Teen Drug Use (8-08-2009)
- The Truth for Teens (8-07-2009)
- Teen Imperfection (8-06-2009)
- Structuring Teen Responsibility (8-05-2009)
- Signs of Teen Drug Use
- Give Your Teen Options (8-04-2009)
- Grandfathers of Teens (8-03-2009)
- WEEKEND: The Anatomy of Teen Anger (8-01-2009)
- ▼ July 2009
-
- Evidence of Underlying Needs (7-31-2009)
- Tarzan School (7-30-2009)
- Spy on Your Teen? (7-29-2009)
- Fixed by Friday (7-28-2009)
- Power of God (7-27-2009)
- Giving Feedback to Your Teen (7-25-2009)
- Missed Opportunities (7-24-2009)
- Nose Dive (7-23-2009)
- Iron Sharpens Iron (7-22-2009)
- Complete Independence (7-21-2009)
- Empty Smiles (7-20-2009)
- Sharing Your Past With Your Teen (7-18-2009)
- Two Sets of Standards (7-17-2009)
- Eternal Investments (7-16-2009)
- Constructive Feedback for Teens (7-15-2009)
- A Taste of God (7-14-2009)
- Parent Heroes (7-13-2009)
- When Good Parenting Yields Bad Results (7-11-2009)
- Don't Redo Their Work (7-10-2009)
- Letting Anger Go (7-09-2009)
- Moms and Dads of Teens (7-08-2009)
- Focus on the Teen's Heart (7-07-2009)
- Teen Peer Pressure (7-06-2009)
- Letting the Rope Out (7-04-2009)
- At-Risk Teens (7-03-2009)
- Sober Schools for Teens (7-02-2009)
- Rules for Household Rules (7-01-2009)
- ▼ June 2009
-
- Macy's Adoption (6-30-2009)
- Barbed Wire (6-29-2009)
- Rules and Consequences for Your Home (6-27-2009)
- Mean Teen Girls (6-26-2009)
- Parents and Divorce (6-25-2009)
- Parent Perfectionism (6-24-2009)
- The King Who Never Leaves Us (6-23-2009)
- Teen Self-Awareness (6-22-2009)
- When Teens Shatter Your Dreams (6-20-2009)
- Worry's Wrong Assumptions (6-19-2009)
- Faithful Love (6-18-2009)
- Teen Angry Answers (6-17-2009)
- Sorting Out Sports for Teens (6-16-2009)
- Teens Who Argue (6-15-2009)
- Watching Out for Teen Pitfalls (6-13-2009)
- Teens and Peers (6-12-2009)
- Teen Expectations (6-11-2009)
- Useful Purpose (6-10-2009)
- Gracious Parenting (6-09-2009)
- Teen Character Building (6-08-2009)
- A Different Approach to Raising Your Teen (6-06-2009)
- Parents Are Teachers Too (6-05-2009)
- A Parent's Fading Halo (6-04-2009)
- Teen Self-Control (6-03-2009)
- Teen Loss and Anger (6-02-2009)
- Kathy's Rebellion (6-01-2009)
- ▼ May 2009
-
- The Author of Reconciliation (5-30-2009)
- That's Not Love (5-29-2009)
- Teen Priorities (5-28-2009)
- Wait to Help Your Teen (5-27-2009)
- Parental Unconditional Love (5-26-2009)
- Teen Sheltering (5-25-2009)
- Parental Controls and the Internet (5-23-2009)
- School Troubles for Teens (5-22-2009)
- Teen Rope Burn (5-21-2009)
- When Teens Hit Rock Bottom (5-20-2009)
- Perfect Teens (5-19-2009)
- Parents Responding Well (5-18-2009)
- Keeping Marriage Going Amidst Teen Struggles (5-16-2009)
- Positive Teen Reinforcements (5-15-2009)
- Parental Love and Teen Change (5-14-2009)
- Teenage Mistakes (5-13-2009)
- Middle School Wars (5-12-2009)
- Fight for Family Blessings (5-11-2009)
- Your Kids, the Internet, and Pornography (5-09-2009)
- Love a Teen (5-08-2009)
- Stupid Teen Stuff (5-07-2009)
- Fireproof Your Teen? (5-06-2009)
- Maturing Consequences for Teens (5-05-2009)
- 20-20 for Parents of Teens (5-4-2009)
- ▼ April 2009
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- Teen Lessons In Jail (5-01-2009)
- Teen Rules Based on Parent Beliefs (4-30-2009)
- Teen Disrespect (4-29-2009)
- Teen Rebellion (4-28-2009)
- Teens Learning to Reason (4-27-2009)
- My Teen is a Different Person Online (4-25-2009)
- Dangerous Teen Games (4-24-2009)
- Teens Caught in Divorce (4-23-2009)
- When Teens are Seriously Ill (4-22-2009)
- Teen Culture of Curiosity (4-21-2009)
- Graduation to Normal (4-20-2009)
- Bridges to Rebellious Teens (4-17-2009)
- Grandparenting Teens (4-16-2009)
- Answered Prayers for Teenagers (4-15-2009)
- Parental Anger (4-14-2009)
- NO REGRETS PARENTING (4-13-2009)
- Parenting Through the Pain (4-10-2009)
- Understand Your Teen's Desires (4-09-2009)
- Teen Anger (4-08-2009)
- Move On Parenting (4-07-2009)
- Struggling Teen (4-06-2009)
- Restless Parents (4-03-2009)
- Step-Parenting Roles (4-02-2009)
- Parental Imperfection (4-01-2009)
- ▼ March 2009
-
- Brush Off Teen Pushoff (3-31-2009)
- What to Tell Your Teen (3-30-2009)
- Teen Reality Treatment (3-27-2009)
- Bad News From Your Teen (3-26-2009)
- Teen Peer Pressure (3-25-2009)
- Tough Times for Teens (3-24-2009)
- Step-Family Teen Problems (3-23-2009)
- Parental Roles (3-20-2009)
- Teen Truths (3-19-2009)
- God's Direction for Your Teen (3-18-2009)
- Disguised As Teen Rebellion (3-17-2009)
- Time Wise Parenting (3-16-2009)
- Teen Communications (3-13-2009)
- Teens and Porn (3-12-2009)
- Station Appreciation (3-11-2009)
- Teen Trouble (3-10-2009)
- Adoption Void (03-09-2009)
- Confusing Culture for Teens (3-06-2009)
- All in the Family (3-05-2009)
- Root Causes (3-04-2009)
- Getting Ready (3-03-2009)
- Absence of Malice (3-02-2009)
- ▼ February 2009
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- When to Disengage (2-27-2009)
- Value and Validation (2-26-2009)
- Graceful Parenting (2-25-2009)
- Ruled (2-24-2009)
- Working It (2-23-2009)
- Prevention (2-20-2009)
- Taking Stock (2-19-2009)
- Fixes (2-18-2009)
- Foolish Man Becoming Wise (2-17-2009)
- Forever (2-16-2009)
- Cooler Online (2-13-2009)
- Fads (2-12-2009)
- Peace and Hope (2-11-2009)
- Beliefs (2-10-2009)
- Performance Standard (2-09-2009)
- Joke Night (2-06-2009)
- Take Out the Trash (2-05-2009)
- Wet Blankets (2-04-2009)
- Garmin Parenting (2-3-2009)
- Find A New Direction (2-02-2009)
- ▼ January 2009
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- Grandpa's Gift (1-30-2009)
- Parenting Pain (1-29-2009)
- Formula for Success for Teens (1-28-2009)
- Arena for a Relationship (1-27-2009)
- Rest from the Culture (1-26-2009)
- Dangers to Self (1-23-2009)
- Blessings of Struggle (1-22-2009)
- Positive Reinforcement (1-21-2009)
- Ultimate Hope (1-20-2009)
- Shifting Styles (1-19-2009)
- Normal or Not (1-16-2009)
- Making a Connection (1-15-2009)
- The Listening Challenge (1-14-2009)
- Handling Holidays (1-13-2009)
- Electronic Vow of Silence (1-12-2009)
- Down and Out (1-09-2009)
- Damages (1-08-2009)
Translator
Parenting Today's Teens is a one-minute daily broadcast hosted by Mark Gregston, focusing on teen parenting issues. It is a voice amidst the darkness many parents of teens are feeling as they try to deal with the influence of today's culture on their teen. It is a forum for Mark Gregston to share what he's learned from over 30 years working with teenagers and their families at the Heartlight Residential Counseling Center for Teens.
Copyright © 2009 Heartlight Ministries Foundation.
Heartlight Ministries - A therapeutic residential program for struggling teens
PO BOX 286 Hallsville, TX 75650 Phone 903.668.2173