WEEKEND: Megan’s Story (1-30-2010)

WEEKLY PROGRAM SUMMARY:

George and Olivia Dunklin enrolled their daughter, Megan, to live at Heartlight for a year. On this program they tell their emotional story of what behaviors in their teenager led them to that difficult decision. This is a rebroadcast of Mark Gregston’s interview on FamilyLife Today with Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine.

Teen Stress Test (1-29-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

It’s good to teach your teenager how to best cope with the stresses of everyday life.

Teenagers today say they have more stress, but they don’t know how to handle it very well. So, take some time to teach them.

First, if your teenager has too busy a schedule, help them cut out something. They may not know that’s even an option. Explain the need for occasional breaks and exercise. Let them know they can always talk to you about any matter. And be honest about your own stresses, like finances and jobs, since teens tend to think the worse when they aren’t informed.

Finally, work at bringing some humor and fun into your home, including scheduling regular fun outings together.

Handling Teen Discipline (1-28-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

When your teenager messes up, and they will, how do you go about handling it?

First, don’t let anger get in the way of fulfilling your role as a parent. Remember, anger is the result of your own thinking or hurt feelings, not what your teenager is doing.

Speak truthfully and always use the past tense when talking about their behavior. For example, say, “you lied” rather than saying, “you always lie.” In that way you are talking about it as a past mistake that can be corrected versus a character flaw.

Then, once you have examined your child’s actions and applied the appropriate consequences, don’t bring it up again. Forgiveness helps your teenager learn to also forgive himself and move on to better behavior.

Love Is Never To Be Bargained With (1-27-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Some parents feel that they can wield their relationship and their love as a club to keep their children in line. I strongly disagree.

I believe that teens should spend the night in jail when they get in trouble, pay their own fines, suffer consequences for irresponsibility, and learn the hard way from their immature choices.

But I also strongly believe that the threat of losing a relationship with their parents should never be a bargaining tool or used as a weapon. God calls us to love our children in the midst of their sin.

Yes, know what you believe and where you stand. But don’t ever reject the one whom God has placed in your life for a reason.

Teen Rebellion True Or False (1-26-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

The old saying, “You can’t judge a book by its cover,” applies to teens who seem to be going through a phase of rebellious behavior.

Many teens are incorrectly labeled as “rebels” by parents or authorities because they are displaying the same inappropriate behavior as the truly rebellious kids. They appear to be rebellious, but they’re really just responding to pain or losses in their life by waving a big red flag and hoping someone will notice.

Therefore, wise parents will handle rebellion by first uncovering and then putting a stop to whatever is causing the pain in their life. Should a teen’s clumsy actions be misunderstood and mishandled by insensitive parents, it can fuel the fires of true rebellion.

Teen Freedom, Sooner (1-25-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

To show your teenager you’re really on their side, begin talking about ways to give them more freedoms.

Periodically talk to your teen about ways for them to gain more freedom and independence, right along with more responsibilities. They’ll welcome the challenge, and you’ll also be able to share the boundaries and consequences for stepping over the line. If you just can’t give up control of some areas now, tell them to show their trustworthiness by working on those areas first. That will also keep them accountable.

It may not feel like it’s time to begin loosening the reins at age 13 or 14, but if done right and with clear boundaries, it is better to do it a little early than too late.

Connect with Mark on Facebook.

WEEKEND: Iceberg or Ice Cube? (1-23-2010)

HALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY:

Many parents look at the inappropriate behavior of their teen and overestimate the situation. On this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston helps mom and dads distinguish between small issues and massive problems that are hidden beneath the surface. Special guest Jim Burns, Ph.D., President of HomeWord is the host of the HomeWord with Jim Burns radio program. He is the author of many resources including books on marriage and family.

Connect with Mark on Facebook.

Fixing Parental Mistakes (1-22-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

Parents can sometimes make mistakes in what they say or do, and like large stones thrown into a pond, their actions ripple out and can cause rebellion in the life of their teenager.

A rebellious teen can be seething with anger, and the key to changing their unacceptable behavior is to get to the root of that anger. But it’s sometimes the parents’ own cutting words, actions, or even their inaction, that are the catalyst for their teen’s anger. In that case, improvements usually won’t come about until the parents accept responsibility and sincerely apologize to the teen.

When you know you’ve wronged your teen, saying “I’m sorry” can calm the ripples your mistake has made in your teen’s life and reverse their rebellious behavior.

Teens Need To Belong (1-21-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

To “belong” is your child’s underlying goal, so how you approach them about misbehavior can make all the difference.

I often tell parents to be discerning of the moment. When a teenager expects anger and punishment, maybe give them a big hug instead. Remember, the behavior may be bad, but the child isn’t. Underneath their sometimes abrasive exterior, they want to belong. And if they don’t feel like they “belong” at home, they’ll seek out other places to belong.

Never make a child feel as though they are an outsider in your family, no matter how badly they act. Being your child’s parent means to both hand out consequences for bad behavior, and to also offer plenty of love, acceptance and “belonging” at the same time.

Ask Your Teen Lots Of Questions (1-20-2010)

PODCAST SCRIPT:

If parents asked more questions of teens, problems wouldn’t escalate into disasters.

I have found that parents don’t ask enough questions. Perhaps that’s because they just don’t believe that babysitters, relatives, step-children or even teachers will abuse their child. And they don’t think their teenager will ever use drugs, become sexually involved, think of suicide or shoplift. But wise parents understand that these can happen, and they are always on the lookout.

The power of asking questions is amazing. So get the conversation going by asking, “What’s the best thing that happened to you today?” Then, “What’s the worst?” And give your teen your undivided attention a few minutes every day, constantly assuring them that they can always express themselves freely to you about anything.

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