WEEKLY: Christmas Stress in the Family (12-19-2009)

WEEKLY PROGRAM SUMMARY:

If your teen is struggling, you know that Christmastime can be a very tense season. On this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston gives counsel to families who find that slowing down to enjoy the holidays can bring more pain than joy.

A Better Way to Listen to Your Teen (12-18-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

I recently spoke to a group of parents who seemed more interested in talking than listening to what I had to say.

Teens often feel the same sense of frustration as I had in that meeting. Trying to talk to mom or dad, they can’t get a word in edgewise, or their parents too quickly jump to a conclusion, so the teen just gives up trying.

Here’s a better way to listen…

First, stop what you are doing and look your teenager in the eyes. Then, wait a few seconds before you talk, in case they haven’t said all they need to say. And finally, make your responses mostly questions, not answers, to keep them talking.

If your teenager isn’t listening to you, perhaps it’s because you’ve not been listening to them.

An End to Parenting Anxiety (12-17-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Do you fear your wayward teen will make you appear like a parenting failure?

Psalms 139 says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts.”

It is often difficult to admit to others, and even to God, that you are facing a terrible family problem, for fear that it will somehow appear to be your fault. But finding a safe haven of helpful advisors can make all the difference in coping with your difficult teen. They can reveal areas that may need to change, and help you find solutions.

Exposing the problem with your wayward teenager to godly counsel can calm your anxiety and put you and your teen on a road to recovery.

Pain’s Megaphone (12-16-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Pain usually appears in response to our own foolishness. This is true in parenting as well.

CS Lewis once said, “Pain is God’s megaphone to a deaf world.”

Pain can be one of God’s greatest creations, because it shows us things we need to do differently.

For instance, in all of your pain while trying to turn around your teenager, you might want to consider that God has something more in store than what you can come up with on your own. He may even be revealing a change you need to make yourself, before a change will come in your teenager.

So heed the pain in your life right now. And pray for what God may be trying to show you through it, not just your teen.

Calm In The Midst Of The Storm (12-15-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

When a teen is in trouble, they need to trust that their parent will be calm and open to discuss it, even as the consequences are applied.

James 1:9 says, “… be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. “

Teenagers sometimes want to tell their parents they’re in trouble, but are too afraid how they’ll react. They know they deserve consequences for their actions, but they don’t need a lot of anger with it. They may even need the parent’s help, but are too afraid to ask.

You’d do well to let go of your anger when your teenager has mishaps. Apply the consequences, but understand that it is an opportunity to talk, not an opportunity to criticize. Harsh words only cut off communication.

Have Fun With Your Teen (12-14-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Is there something that your teen really likes to do, that you can do together?

Organized and group events are great, but parents should look for fun things they can do individually with their teenager. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It may not even be what you’d ever think of doing yourself…like skateboarding, or going to the local arcade, but you can do it with your teenager.

Even if you cannot skateboard yourself, maybe you can help make a ramp or take your video camera to shoot your teen doing their skating tricks.

When you take time for such outings -– just the two of you — it shows your teen that you value them, and it opens up priceless opportunities to communicate.

WEEKLY: Leading Your Lost Teen Home (12-12-2009)

WEEKLY HALF-HOUR PROGRAM SUMMARY:

Can you tell the difference between a teen who is rebelling and a teen who’s lost his way? Often they look very similar. On this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston helps moms and dads discern if their teen is lost… and how to help him find his way home.

Special Guest: Jim Burns, Ph.D., President of HomeWord is the host of the HomeWord with Jim Burns radio program. He is the author of many resources including books on marriage and family.

Weekly Contact (12-11-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

One of my best pieces of advice is this… establish a habit of taking your teen out for a one on one breakfast or coffee once a week, and begin this practice now.

I believe spending individual time with a teenager is so important, parents even need to make it a condition of giving allowance, or allowing their teen a later curfew on a Friday night.

Even if they resist, you must insist. Even if you’re busy, make it a priority.

Though it may be difficult at first, and your teen may not say much the first few weeks, spending time together once a week will become the foundation your relationship.

Begin this practice this week and I promise you, you’ll thank me for recommending it.

Prayers for a Prodigal (12-10-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

How would you pray if your teenager is choosing a self-destructive, sinful lifestyle and nothing you do is making a difference?

When a teenager is out of control, parents need to admit that only God can bring him back to his senses, which could include an uncomfortable correction in his life.

I tell parents to pray that their teen won’t be able to hide his deeds, but that the full consequences will be experienced and learned from now, before adulthood.

Tough love applies to how you pray as well as how you act. Asking God to reveal your teenager’s disobedience may mean that he spends time in jail, or gets kicked out of school, but that may be the correction he needs before his misbehavior ruins his entire life.

Intentionally Teaching Character (12-09-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

The Bible teaches that each of us is fearfully and wonderfully made. But children aren’t ready-made adults. Character has to be taught and learned.

While kids learn a lot about reading, writing and arithmetic in school, and they learn about the Bible and right and wrong in church, parents have a unique role in teaching them character.

Think of your teen as an adult in training…a novice who needs you, the master, to teach them about life and put them in situations where their character can be molded and strengthened.

Character will be learned, but hopefully not from the real “characters” in your child’s life. So, begin this week setting up an intentional character-training agenda for your teenager.