Counteracting Teen Selfishness (12-31-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

A good way to counteract selfishness and financial foolishness in a teenager is to teach them to give of themselves and their finances to others in need.

Every teenager needs to experience helping the less fortunate. Wise parents will periodically take them to the local mission to volunteer in the food line. They’ll require that they sponsor a needy child with their own money. Or they’ll visit and help kids in poor neighborhoods or countries where the children there have nothing and are appreciative of everything.

When teenagers interact with others who are helpless and in desperate need, they soon realize and appreciate how fortunate they really are and how important it is for them to manage their own money and their own future.

Keep It In Check (12-30-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

In a world where parents indulge their kids with everything they want, it would seem that these kids would be especially grateful. Instead, a generation has become selfish, self-centered, and unprepared for real life.

Many parents lavishly give material things to their kids. Some say it is their “right” to spoil their kids — and there is truth to that. The truth is not as much regarding the parent’s rights, but that, yes, it will spoil their kids!

Unbridled spending on kids can lead to selfish attitudes and feelings of entitlement, immaturity, irresponsibility, and selfishness.

I know it’s tough for loving parents to limit their giving of material things to their children, but they’d be wise to keep it in check.

Helping Teens Solve Problems (12-29-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Since teens are somewhat limited in their ability to solve problems, they need parents who will demonstrate how they solve their own problems.

Teens often don’t have the maturity to unravel life’s bigger issues, and they don’t understand how to change their behavior in order to help themselves.

That’s where a wise parent comes in. Demonstrating your own resources for managing frustration is one good way to teach your teen how to handle their own:

• Tell them how you go about solving problems at work, or with your spouse.
• Let them know you need and daily seek God’s help, and that you don’t have all the answers.

Ruling Versus Rulemaking (12-28-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Which kind of home is yours? One that has rules or one that is ruled?

Rules should fall into three main areas of concern which are foundational to all other character issues. They are: honesty, obedience, and respect.

When you think about the rules that govern your home, you might want to ask yourself two questions. The first is, “How much will this rule matter after I am gone or when the child is out on his own?” The second is, “Will this help build my child’s character and cause him to become more mature or responsible?”

Reasonable rulemaking and proper boundaries will help your teenager mature into a confident adult. On the other hand, living under a “ruler” can lead to frustration, rebellion and eroded self-esteem.

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WEEKLY: We’ll Keep the Light On for You (12-26-2009)

WEEKEND PROGRAM SUMMARY:

For many parents of teens, 2009 was a tough year. But now, as you enjoy a holiday break with the family, take this opportunity to make some changes for 2010.

Stops and Starts (12-25-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Parents dealing with an out of control teenager tell me that they’ve tried everything they can think of, but I tell them it may be time for them to stop everything.

God often uses a troubled teen to bring about change in the life of a parent as well. And that can involve stopping one behavior while starting another…

Here’s what I tell them:

Stop lecturing… And start listening

Stop worrying… And start praying

Stop frowning… And start laughing

Stop reacting… And start responding

Stop punishing… And start disciplining

Stop ruling… And start enforcing

Stop teaching… And start trusting

Stop talking… And start hearing

If you are at a crossroads, be sure you come to a complete stop, before you start a new and better direction.

Christmas Gifts (12-24-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Christmas is a celebration of God’s endless love, though we surely don’t deserve it.

Scripture is absent a parenting manual, but we are given the best role model of parenting through the example of our Heavenly Father. He’s quick to offer grace while also sure to discipline us. He never stops loving us, even when we are at our worst.

Likewise, we parents are never more godly than when we allow our children to experience the consequences of their choices, while loving them unconditionally at the same time.

Of all the gifts ever given your children, your love and your strong parenting will be what’s appreciated most when they become parents themselves. So, keep on parenting.

From the Parenting Today’s Teens and Heartlight family to yours, may this Christmas be a time of grace, peace and love in your home.

–Mark

Adoption’s Example (12-23-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

I believe adoption is the best example of godliness, so I work with and encourage adoption organizations who match needy kids with great parents.

God is the ultimate authority on adoption, and I firmly believe that His hand is in every single one. Because I believe God maneuvers children into families, I also believe God is prepared to help adopted parents know what to do when their adopted child reaches the teen years, when struggles can arise.

God demonstrates adoption in the ways He has taken those of us who trust him into His own family and under His care. He understands, forgives and disciplines us. His gracious parenting style is the best example for any parent to emulate, especially those considering adoption.

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Adoption Stability (12-22-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Some adopted kids struggle in the teen years as they seek answers to who they are, why their birth parents gave them up, and what it means for their future.

It hurts when a teenager rebels; especially when it’s an adopted child. But responding negatively or threatening abandonment is a recipe for disaster. And so is trying to fix the problem by giving the child more “things,” or more freedoms than they should have.

When adopted kids struggle, they mostly need time and stability as they work through their identity issues. They need to know their new family won’t give up on them, no matter what they do. And they’ll sometimes even get in trouble just to test their adopted parent’s love and perseverance.

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Adoption Grace (12-21-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Parents of adopted kids are expressing grace by the very act of adoption, but they may be called on to exhibit even more grace in the teen years.

It is not unusual for adopted kids to face struggles in adolescence. The tussle involves a quest for identity and seeking answers for why they were given up by their birth mother.

If you’re an adoptive parent, understand that your teen’s behavior at this stage usually isn’t rebellion, nor lack of appreciation or love for you. Stick to your parenting and weather the storm, taking care not to break the relationship. Before long, your teenager will come around and appreciate you more than ever.

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