Holiday Gift (11-30-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Would you ever consider opening your home to a struggling teenager; especially during the holidays?

The holidays are often one of the most difficult times for families in the process of dealing with a struggling teen. Instead of the blessings of joy and peace, parents deal with daily arrivals of disruption and despair. I’ve often heard parents wish for a place their teen could spend a weekend in order to provide everyone a cooling off period and time to regroup.

A teen spending a weekend with extended family or with adult friends of the family might be the holiday gift the distraught family needs most. It’ll take some carefully laid out ground rules, of course, but the invitation could be a hopeful blessing to the teen and his parents.

WEEKLY: Parents Being Thankful (11-28-2009)

WEEKLY PROGRAM SUMMARY:

Families will always have struggles. There will be conflict and tension in every home. But step back for a few minutes with Mark Gregston and consider the things you can be thankful for as a mom or dad. It’s a refreshing program with special guest, Bill Perkins.

Plead With A Prodigal (11-27-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Theologian John Piper’s once prodigal son, Abraham, wrote “12 Ways to Love your Wayward Child.”

Abraham Piper’s sixth suggestion is:

“Plead with them more than you rebuke them. Be gentle in your disappointment. What really concerns you is that your child is destroying herself, not that she’s breaking rules. Treat her in a way that makes this clear. She probably knows—especially if she was raised as a Christian—that what she’s doing is wrong. And she definitely knows you think it is. So she doesn’t need this pointed out. She needs to see how you are going to react to her evil. Your gentle forbearance and sorrowful hope will show her that you really do trust Jesus.”

>> To see the entire “12 Ways to Love Your Wayward Child” article, click here.

Receive Mark’s new Ten Ways to Turn Around Your Teen
107-page e-book without cost (PDF or WORD format). Share it with your friends!

Download Now 

Welcome Prodigals Back Home (11-26-2009)

Happy Thanksgiving!

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

John Piper, theologian and author of “Desiring God,” experienced firsthand the trials of the parent of a prodigal son. And it is from that son that we can learn how to love a prodigal back to God.

Piper’s son, Abraham, says this about prodigals:

“Welcome them home. Because the deepest concern is not your child’s actions, but his heart, don’t create too many requirements for coming home. If he has any inkling to be with you, it is God giving you a chance to love him back to Jesus. Obviously there are some instances in which parents must give ultimatums: ‘don’t come to this house if you are…’ But these will be rare. Don’t lessen the likelihood of an opportunity to be with your child by too many rules.”

>> To see the entire “12 Ways to Love Your Wayward Child” article, click here.

Receive Mark’s new Ten Ways to Turn Around Your Teen
107-page e-book without cost (PDF or WORD format). Share it with your friends!

Download Now 

Setting Expectations Too High (11-25-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Theologian John Piper’s once prodigal son, Abraham, wrote “12 Ways to Love Your Wayward Child.” Today we’ll mention another of his suggestions to parents.

Abraham Piper’s fourth suggestion is:

“Don’t expect them to be Christ-like. If your son is not a Christian, he’s not going to act like one. You know that he has forsaken the faith, so don’t expect him to live by the standards you raised him with. If he’s struggling to believe in Jesus, then there is very little significance in admitting that his lifestyle is wrong. You want to protect him, yes. But his unbelief is the most dangerous problem—not partying. No matter how your child’s unbelief exemplifies itself in his behavior, always be sure to focus more on the heart’s sickness than its symptoms.”

Pray For And Acknowledge Your Teen (11-24-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Theologian John Piper’s once prodigal son, Abraham, wrote “12 Ways to Love Your Wayward Child.” Today we’ll mention two more of his suggestions to parents.

In “12 Ways to Love Your Wayward Child,” Abraham Piper’s second suggestion is:

“Pray for your child. Only God can save your son or daughter, so keep on asking that He will display Himself to them in a way that they can’t resist worshipping Him for.”

And, third, “acknowledge that something is wrong. If your daughter rejects Jesus, don’t pretend everything is fine. Each one will require parents to reach out in unique ways. Never acceptable, however, is not reaching out at all. If your child is an unbeliever, don’t ignore it. Holidays might be easier, but eternity won’t be.”

>> To see the entire “12 Ways to Love Your Wayward Child” article, click here.

Receive Mark’s new Ten Ways to Turn Around Your Teen
107-page e-book without cost (PDF or WORD format). Share it with your friends!

Download Now

Point Them to Christ (11-23-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

John Piper, theologian and author of “Desiring God,” experienced firsthand the trials of the parent of a prodigal son. And it is from that son that we can learn how to love a prodigal back to God.

When Abraham Piper came back to God, he wrote the article “12 Ways to Love Your Wayward Child.”

First, he says, point them to Christ. Your rebellious child’s real problem is not their lifestyle. It is that they don’t see Jesus clearly. The best thing you can do is to point them to Christ. It is not a simple or immediate process, but the sins in their life that distress you and destroy them will only begin to fade away when they see Jesus more like He actually is.

>> To see the entire “12 Ways to Love Your Wayward Child” article click here.

WEEKLY: When a Parent’s Authority is Lost (11-21-2009)

WEEKLY HALF-HOUR PROGRAM SUMMARY:

Parents today want a great relationship with their child… but many are finding out that being friends with a teen often lessens their authority. This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston welcomes special guest, Deedee Mayer in a discussion to help moms and dads who have lost their authority to discipline.

 Receive Mark’s new Ten Ways to Turn Around Your Teen
107-page e-book without cost (PDF or WORD format). Share it with your friends!

Download Now

It Is Up To The Child (11-20-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Parents can teach their children spiritual things, but the decision is ultimately up to the child.  

You may teach your teen everything you know about God, and they can learn the Bible forward and backward, but you cannot force them to believe.  You can be in church every time the door opens and pray for them constantly, but they have free will to choose a different path after leaving home.

Parents must do what they can to influence the right spiritual decision in their children. But God intended for each of us to have free will.  A parent can make the right decision more inviting for the child by genuinely demonstrating Christ’s love and unconditional acceptance.

Distinguishing Between Good And Evil (11-19-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Teens are bound to make mistakes; that’s no surprise. What is surprising is the reaction from some parents when their teen messes up.

I wish I could convince parents that parenting is more about teaching excellence than gaining perfection.

Hebrews 5:14 says, “Solid food is for adults, who through practice are able to distinguish between good and evil.”

For a teen to understand good and evil takes practice.  For parents, teaching it requires patience and perseverance.  The goal to strive for is a competent, confident and self-controlled young adult, not perfection – because the last time I checked, only God is perfect.

Disconnect Between Teens And Parents (11-18-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

A huge disconnect can develop between parents and teens, when parents fail to make the shift to a new mode of parenting in the teen years.

Believe it or not, teens normally desire to remain connected to their parents.  But that desire can be destroyed by parents who fail to shift from hand-holding and scolding their teen, as they did when they were younger, to helping them make decisions on their own. Teens learn from making mistakes and especially from the consequences they experience.  So, in the teen years parents need to both allow mistakes to happen, and to also enforce the consequences when they do.

It’s difficult to watch, but allowing consequences to do the correcting is the best way for teens to learn.

Be Watchful (11-17-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

It is normal for teens to crave acceptance and love from those around them – especially their peers.

As teens attempt to find acceptance in their world, parents should loosen the reins a little, but remain watchful. Continue to have a presence in their life; not one that dominates, but one that guides and limits when necessary.

And learn how to use the tools of their culture, like texting, cell phones, and social networking to lightly stay in touch. Call or text them just to say you love them, or to wish them a good day.

When teens feel accepted and their parents and family remain in touch, they’ll strive less for the often negative influence of desiring attention at any cost from their peers.

Receive Mark’s new “Ten Ways to Turn Around
Your Teen” 107-page e-book without cost.  Download Now

Don’t Push Off (11-16-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Did you know that parents who listen well have a much better chance of having teachable moments when their teen needs it?

Listening is one of your best weapons in your fight for everything that’s right in the life of your teen. So spend more time listening than offering your own opinion. Wait for your teen to invite you in. Listen between the lines, and schedule a day each week to sit with your teen over dinner out or at a coffee shop, allowing them time to share what’s really going on in their life.

Listening and taking time to allow the words to come out communicates to your teen that they are valuable and accepted, even when they’ve been at their worst.

WEEKLY: The Answers Adopted Teens Seek (11-14-2009)

WEEKLY PROGRAM SUMMARY:

When adopted children enter the adolescent years, it’s natural for them to question their adoption. This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston helps parents prepare for the teen years of their adopted children.

Turbulence Ahead (11-13-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

So, mom and dad, what are you doing to get prepared for the often bumpy teen years?

For instance, are you up to speed on the ways that today’s culture will begin tugging on your child? Do you know what signs to look for that may indicate your teenager is getting off track? And are you prepared to spend even more one-on-one time with your child than you ever have before?

To help, I’ve developed the Turbulence Ahead tour, a 2-day live seminar coming to a city near you. We’ve held the seminar across canada and in several cities in the u.s. And I look forward to seeing you at one of the upcoming events in your area.

————————————

Turbulence Ahead is in Houston, Texas beginning today (Nov. 13-14) 

Location: Christ Evangelical Presbyterian Church 8300 Katy Fwy Houston, TX 77024-1902

Call: (713) 526-1188

Unique To Adoption (11-12-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

When it comes to having unique issues, adopted teens sometimes have more than their share, and may struggle more during the teen years than their non-adopted peers.

When an adopted teen wrestles with the who or why of their adoption, adolescence can turn into an emotionally super-charged time of life. Even though their struggles surround issues that are unique to their adoption, the right approach and understanding by the adoptive parents can make all the difference. You can help the child deal with his questions appropriately, or send him off the deep end of frustration.

So, treat your adopted child’s struggles in the teen years as openly and as honestly as possible, and even if there is anger and rejection, keep the mindset that it’s not about you, because it really isn’t.

Turn From Lecturing To Listening (11-11-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Teens disengage when parents lecture, because it’s a sure sign that their parents aren’t interested in hearing their side or engaging in a two-way discussion.

There’s nothing more damaging to your relationship with your teen than failing to listen.

Proverbs 18:13 says, “He who answers before listening, that is his folly and shame.”

If this sounds like you, it may be time to admit that listening is just not something you do well. There is a vital link between the amount of time you spend listening to your child, and the number of concerns they are willing to share with you as a result.

So, even when it’s difficult to do so, sharpen your listening skills, and practice listening often.

Adopted Teen Struggles (11-10-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

I counsel daily bewildered and broken adoptive parents who are surprised by the intensity of the struggle they are suddenly having with their adopted child.

More than one third of the kids in our Heartlight residential program have come from adoptive families. That’s because adopted teens face a unique set of identity issues that spring from deep-seated feelings of abandonment by their birth mother. The older the child when adopted, the more intense these feelings can be.

While I applaud adoptive parents, some adopted kids can turn on them and express hatred for them during this stage. The best thing for the parents to do is not take it personally. Prepare for this to happen and get good counsel for the child if or when it does.

Teens Accomplishing Their Own Goals (11-09-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Parents of older teens can best help their children reach maturity by becoming a facilitator and encourager, not a financial benefactor.

Parents of older teens need to encourage and facilitate their teen in becoming more mature. If they have no money to reach their goals in life, then it’s best to help them find a job, not give them money.

It’s important for parents to understand that at this age a child’s future can be short-circuited by handing them everything on a silver platter, thereby making it appear that life on their own will be a breeze. Most of all, teens need to learn and take responsibility for the real costs and the real effort required to live away from mom and dad, not be fooled by the ease offered by an overindulgent parent.

WEEKLY: Dealing with the Difficult Adoption (11-07-2009)

WEEKLY PROGRAM SUMMARY:

Adoption is a great solution for children and parents… and can result in a loving, healthy home. But what happens when adopted children act out? Mark Gregston takes a look at adoption “from the other side,” and gives struggling families hope as they process through adoption issues in the teen years.

Age of Maturity (11-06-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Eighteen is the age that teens are considered an “adult” in legal terms. Unfortunately, kids today don’t mature until their mid-twenties, so what can a parent do to help a teen be more mature sooner?

By age 18, a teen should be able to engage in showing respect to others, meet the requirements of a part-time job, finish chores, and take full responsibility for his behavior. He should also maintain positive social interactions, and be honest in the ways he communicates with others.

To achieve this level of maturity, parents should begin at age 13, providing work opportunities and extra doses of added freedoms and responsibilities. This will encourage maturity by the time the child leaves home and when the legal system considers them an adult.

It’s Up To Them (11-05-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

It can be a big challenge for parents to get teenagers to take responsibility for their own school work.

First, I’d approach the problem by handing the responsibility for school work back to your teen. Make it absolutely clear that they, not you, must act responsibly, and solve the problem.

If they ask for help, provide it, but make it their job to find ways to be successful. Don’t badger them, monitor their work, or do their homework for them.

Finally, communicate the consequences for failure to meet expected minimum grades, such as loss of privileges.

Then, it is up your teen. Reward them for meeting the goal, or the enforce consequences. Either way, at this age, your teen needs to learn that it’s up to them.

Never Too Late (11-04-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Are you worried it might be too late to help your child, since he’s already gone out on his own?

If there is one thing I’ve learned, it is that it is never too late for someone to move from bad thinking to the right direction in life. If it were too late, then Christ came to earth only to save the children, not adults. And we know that’s not the case.

Even so, it is difficult for a parent to see an older child living a sinful life, so they tend to point out the errors. But what they should do, is to love and accept their children unconditionally.

Parents must do what they can to influence the right spiritual decisions in their children, and a parent can make a right decision more inviting to the child by genuinely demonstrating Christ’s love and unconditional acceptance.

Senseless Acts Of Insecurity (11-03-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

After the recent stabbing death of a Texas school teacher by a 16-year old boy, parents and officials grappled for reasons behind the senseless killing.

While school shootings and other violent acts by teens are difficult to understand, most of the time these kids are searching for significance by appearing tough, or by making elaborate plans to get back at those who may have hurt them. Those around them are also at risk when an already emotional teenager is in a heightened state of insecurity and rage.

Only parents can prevent insecurity in their children, by giving them a sense of family, belonging and support. A secure teen has no reason to turn to violence as a way to feel more important, and can better roll with the punches of others.

Mad Dash Parenting (11-02-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Have you ever realized on your way to work that you forgot to bring something, suddenly turning your leisurely morning commute into a mad dash back home?

Parents of teens can feel the same sense of panic when they suddenly discover that their teen has gotten off track. There’s a mad dash back to parenting basics to try to correct the problem. But putting on the brakes at this point can be too late.

It’s easy to slip into leisure parenting in the teen years, but for every freedom given a teen, equal amounts of follow up and parental attention are required. So, pay attention now to the road signs in your teen’s life and you’ll be preventing the perils of “mad dash parenting” later.