Don’t Quit Parenting Your Teenager (10-20-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

I have seen many parents wonder what in the world happened when they seemingly woke up one morning to a teen who had completely changed. Their loving, kind, and thoughtful kid became someone they no longer recognize.

It is easy to buy into fear for your child’s future when they turn their back on you. And the temptation is to throw your hands in the air and give up.

If you are struggling with a difficult teenager, remember that God isn’t finished with your teen, or you, so don’t quit…

…don’t quit, even if your teen says he hates you.

…and don’t quit, even if others don’t support you.

It’s up to you to be your child’s parent, and that’s a role from which you can never resign.

Constructive Feedback for Teens (10-19-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Constructive feedback can light the way for the most positive and rewarding moments in parenting teens.

Well-timed, well-focused feedback is a powerful tool that can encourage good decisions and shore up wobbly relationships.

The key to helping your teen benefit from positive feedback is to deliver it at the right moment, in the right way, and with the right motives.

Simply name something positive, tell them why it was good, and encourage them to look for more ways to do the same. Then….give them a hug, offer them more freedom as a reward for their good judgment. It will go a long way toward encouraging good judgment in the future.

WEEKLY: When Divorce Affects Your Teen (10-17-2009)

WEEKLY PROGRAM SUMMARY:

Counting the cost of divorce on teens.  How does a family split affect your child, and how can you continue to guide, discipline and invest in your teen?  Mark Gregston gives principles to help any family who has been directly or indirectly affected by divorce.

Pain Can Be a Good Thing (10-16-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

No one likes to experience temporary pain, but God created pain to keep us from bringing even more pain into our lives.

In the Bible, leprosy was a horrific disease that brought about terrible disfiguration. But what most people don’t know is that leprosy destroyed nerve endings and therefore the real damage was caused to skin and limbs by the lack of pain, not the presence of pain. 

Likewise, when parents eliminate or lessen the pain of consequences for their teenager’s bad behavior – consequences like the loss of some privileges for a time — they short circuit the purpose of pain, which is to improve future decisions.  And that’s just asking for more pain and immaturity in the life of the teen.

Wisdom From Consequences (10-15-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of the fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.”

In parenting, God often uses pain as the instrument to move a child from foolish or dangerous thinking into wisdom.  Pain in the life of a child happens when he experiences the consequences of his behavior. 

But it’s hard for some parents to tolerate their child feeling any form of pain, so they rescue their child from experiencing the consequences.

For teenagers, inappropriate behavior changes only when the pleasure received from wrong choices is overridden by the pain of the consequences.  So parents need to learn to let consequences happen, or they’ll be rescuing their teen again and again, for their entire life.

Perfect Kids and Imperfect Choices (10-14-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

A wise parent once said, “It’s good that people know that Christian families have kids that aren’t perfect.”

How many times have you heard the story of the preacher’s kid gone bad? The fact is, teens in Christian families are just as likely to have problems living in this world as those from non-Christian homes.  In some cases, they are even more tempted after being sheltered their entire life. 

Christian teens face enticing choices. But when they make mistakes, a wise parent will take Christ’s life on earth as an example and move toward them in a way that says they are accepted and loved, for all their faults. Make sure they know you will get through it, together, with God’s grace and help.

Going Through Stages (10-13-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

It’s easy for parents to become impatient with an immature teenager. But this stage of life cannot be rushed.

Parenting teens can be both wonderful, and a thankless and emotionally taxing job.  It’s definitely a change from the good old days when your grade school children dutifully followed directions.  This awkward stage between childhood and adulthood offers up the beginnings of a new person that is alternating from being childish, and sometimes mature, and most of the time emotional about everything. 

Just remember…it’s only a stage.  They will get through it, and so will you.  God chose you to be in this place, at this time, with this teen, and He’ll give you the grace and patience to get through it, if you ask Him.

Not Alone (10-12-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Parents need not be alone in their fight to save their teenager from today’s culture.

When a teen gets off track, nothing is more important to the parents than to find a solution. All else in life pales in comparison to the concern they have for their teenager.

Such parents need encouragement and help from those around them, and especially their church family.  I know as a former youth minister that I could have taken more of an interest in the needs of the parents of the teenagers in my congregation when I saw there was a problem.

Christian teenagers today are being assaulted by their culture as never before.  So reach out to their parents and give them the help and encouragement they need.

WEEKLY: Encouragement for Weary Parents (10-10-2009)

WEEKLY PROGRAM SUMMARY:

When it seems like your teen is spinning out of control, when everything you’ve tried doesn’t work, and when you’re ready to give up… DON’T! There are helpful keys to endurance and patience as you deal with a struggling teen. Mark Gregston is joined by special guest, Chap Clark, on this refreshing edition of Parenting Today’s Teens.

Correcting or Connecting (10-09-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

When it comes to teenagers, correcting without connecting, can lead to contempt.

It is easy to correct your teenager, thinking they will learn from that correction and move on.

But if you fail to connect with them at the same time – the correction can seem arbitrary and mean, leading to feelings of contempt.

So don’t just correct your teen, learn to also calm down and use those moments to connect in a deeply personal way. Discuss the reasons behind the rules and how you are disappointed in having to have to correct them, not disappointed in them personally.

When correcting your teenager, find the balance between truth and grace, and relate to your child as a person — not just a child who needs correction.