WEEKLY: When Teens Will Not Go to Church (10-31-2009)

WEEKLY PROGRAM SUMMARY:

“I don’t want to go to church anymore, mom.” Have you heard that from your teen? Mark Gregston, along with special guest, Chap Clark, works through this kind of family conflict to help parents know how to respond. Discover the opportunities for conversation, growth and faith… on this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens.

Stops and Starts in Parenting Teens (10-30-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Parents dealing with an out of control teenager tell me that they’ve tried everything they can think of, but I tell them it may be time for them to stop everything.

Here’s what I tell them:

Stop lecturing… And start listening

Stop worrying… And start praying

Stop frowning… And start laughing

Stop reacting… And start responding

Stop punishing… And start disciplining

Stop ruling… And start enforcing

Stop teaching… And start trusting

Stop talking… And start hearing

If you are at a crossroads, be sure you come to a complete stop, before you start a new and better direction.

Judging the Adult Child (10-29-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

God tells us to love the sinner but hate the sin. But are there times when parents should walk away from their adult children?

To embrace an adult child living an alternative lifestyle is difficult. Yet to write them off and disown them is, I believe, a violation of what God desires from us.  I’m talking about continuing to love them when they’ve had an affair, committed a crime, or are battling a drug addiction.

It’s God’s role to judge them, not ours. Stick to what you believe, but don’t reject the one whom God has placed in your life for a reason. After all, we are all sinners, and every sinner is someone’s child…maybe even yours.

Supporting the Step-Parent (10-28-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Teens often struggle with having two sets of parents. And one of the most difficult choices a parent can make following a divorce is to show support for the step-parent.

Supporting a step-parent can be tough. But presenting a united front and keeping things as positive as possible will be helpful to your teen.

So, in those moments when you are tempted to say hurtful comments in front of your teen about his other set of parents, bite your tongue. Pray for patience. Put on a smile, and ask God for strength.

The only one hurt by such negative comments is your teenager. So give your son or daughter what she needs to hear from you, not what you think your ex deserves to be told.

Parenting Mistakes in Divorce (10-27-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Teens are good at deciphering who is responsible for what went wrong in a family going through a divorce.

Parents unwilling to admit the mistakes that led to their divorce may see their teen working extra hard to make them pay for it, through rebellion and bad behavior.

That’s why it helps when parents are honest about their own part in the divorce – and apologize to their teen for how it has caused pain in their life.

A parent willing to admit their own mistakes may see their teen being more honest and taking responsibility for their own mistakes. And it can open a dialogue for you both to work through the hurts and feelings of isolation together.

The Impact of Divorce on Teenagers (10-26-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

I encourage anyone with a teenager who is considering divorce to think long and hard about the long-term impact on their child.

Divorce can be devastating for a teenager, causing feelings of abandonment, isolation and loss of identity at a critical time in the child’s life.

Even so, there are ways to lessen the impact of divorce on your teen. 

Here are three:

1) Acknowledge their sense of loss.

2) Be honest about your part in the divorce. And finally, make a real effort to include your teen in decisions whenever possible.

3) Be sure to double the number of times that you tell your teen you love them. Let them know that they are still part of your family and nothing can change that — nothing.

WEEKLY: Giving Your Teen Proper Freedoms (10-24-2009)

WEEKLY PROGRAM SUMMARY:

As children grow, we need to give them increased freedom. But in today’s world, many parents want to shelter their teen from negative cultural influences. So how can parents keep their high standards…and still allow the freedom that their teen needs? Mark Gregston helps moms and dads have discernment in this issue. Special guest, Deedee Mayer, on this Parenting Today’s Teens.

More Time with Parents (10-23-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Parents of teenagers in families split by divorce would be wise to double their efforts to be there for their teen.

The amount of time spent with children by both parents transfers a sense of value and validity that no one else can — and it is especially important in the teen years.

So seek as much time as possible. Take them to lunch—grab a snack after school, attend all games or school events, and communicate online. Send text messages to say, “Hi,” or to say, “I love you.”

Make sure your teen knows that you desire to continue be involved in their life even if you are the noncustodial parent and can’t be there every day. Be there for their teen, as often as possible.

Damage Control for Teens and Divorce (10-22-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Teens who have experienced divorce in their family often feel isolated and left behind.

A split in the family can even make a teen feel as if he is no longer a whole person. And, when their parents remarry, teens respond to the change as a signal that they really are now all on their own.

From a teen’s point of view, the parents who came together to create him have each gone a different way, and may have already connected with someone new. The older your teen at the time of your divorce, the more disconnected they will feel when separation becomes reality.

While younger kids are more resilient, parents thinking about divorce would do well to consider the strong affect that divorce can have on teenagers.

Updating the Parenting Style (10-21-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

I recently looked at some 20-year-old photos of myself and was shocked to realize that I had on the same shirt as in the photo, thinking it still worked for me now!

I was so used to wearing my favorite shirts that I never took time to notice the nicer, newer shirts left for me in my closet as a gracious hint from my wife.

Many parents have the same problem with not updating their parenting style. There is nothing wrong with their tactics, they are just a little outdated.

So look at your parenting style periodically and determine what you may need to adjust to fit with the age and maturity of your children. The shoe may still fit, but make sure it is a style that’s working for you.