Far and Away (9-30-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Far and away, most kids get through adolescence without serious issues. It’s usually something out of the past that causes some kids to rebel.

Like a ship without a rudder, kids with emotional hurts and losses in their life are more likely to get blown off course in the introspective teen years. Losses can include the split-up of the family, feeling rejected by their birth mother, a death of someone close, or childhood abuse.

Since of the underlying causes of rebellion are usually hidden, it’s best to enlist a trained counselor to uncover and work through them with your teen.

A counselor can decipher the mystery behind changes in behavior and help your teen find a more appropriate way to deal with the past.

Boundaries for Your Teen (9-29-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Teenagers are stepping over the line when they speak disrespectfully or take your stuff without asking.

Another word for the proverbial “line” not to cross is “boundaries.” Defining your boundaries will help an immature child learn how to respond and relate to others. For instance, “We will talk with respect to one another,” or, “We will respect each other’s property.”

But does your teenager know what your boundaries are? I advocate writing down your boundaries and posting them front and center so they are clear, including the associated consequences for stepping over the line, so he also knows the penalty for immature behavior.

Doing so will bring peace to your home and help your teen learn the right way to behave in every relationship.

The Overindulged Teen (9-28-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

I find that most parents’ expectations are set too low for their teenager.

Lacking patience or not wanting their child to make a mistake, parents can resort to lowering their expectations for their teenager. They assume their teen isn’t capable of handling responsibility, so they fail to release control over important areas of the teen’s life. They overindulge the teen by doing and deciding everything for them.

Lowered expectations by parents will lead a teen to sustained immaturity and an attitude of entitlement. So, raise your expectations. Stop babying your teenager. Express confidence in their ability to make decisions, and force them to become responsible in all areas of their life … until they finally are.

WEEKLY: Types of Parents that Kids Hate (9-26-2009)

SUMMARY OF THIS WEEK’S HALF-HOUR PROGRAM:

From the mom that’s too protective, to the dad who’s expectations are out of reach… there are certain types of parents that kids can’t stand. Are you treating your child in a way that only turns them against you? Mark Gregston hears from a student and a parent today… to describe repulsive parenting styles on Parenting Today’s Teens.

Performance-Based Parents (9-25-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

I never put much focus on report cards. Instead, i encouraged my kids to do their best and I praised them for their success.

Kids need to learn in life that doing well is their own responsibility, not just to make their parents happy. But parents can have a vital cheerleader role, encouraging their kids to excel.

A child’s grades usually remain pretty consistent throughout their school years. So, if your child’s grades are slipping,  have a conversation about what needs to change and then move on. Don’t dwell on it. But begin searching for other factors that may be affecting them, which is often the case. Falling grades are most often a red flag of emotional or physical issues, not laziness.

Parents Who Nag (9-24-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Do you give your teenager room to talk and come to his own conclusions?

Most of the time, a teen talks through his thoughts, sorting out what’s happening in his world. He may even say something totally off the wall or shocking, not really meaning anything by it.

It’s important for teens to feel comfortable discussing things with their parents – anything — and feeling free to say whatever they need to say without you coming unglued. It doesn’t require any great talent, it is simple — just keep quiet.

Instead of a maneuvering a discussion with your teen to where you want it to go, don’t give your opinion unless it is asked for. You might then be invited to the best two-way discussion you’ve ever had.

Never Enough for Parents (9-23-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

A boy named Sam told me, “No matter how well or how much I did, my parents always added something to it, as if it was never good enough, so I quit trying.”

Sam always fell short of accomplishing what his parent’s wanted. He would do his assigned chores, but instead of praising him for a job well done, they would scold him for not taking the initiative to also wash the car. Whatever he did, it was never good enough.

Sometimes, a parent’s expectations can be too high, leading their teen to frustration. Or, too low, leading their teen to irresponsibility. It’s important, therefore, to know just how much to expect, but also to offer praise, no matter what they do.

The Disengaged Parent (9-22-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

In the teen years, the family can all too easily drift apart.

It’s a tempting time of life for parents to unintentionally disengage from their teenager. Parents are at the peak of their careers. The teen has friends and activities to keep them busy, so everyone tends to go their own ways.

But this may be the most important time for parents to stay engaged! Teens need to feel a connection with you, even if they don’t express that need, and even if they act like they can’t stand being around you!

So, make an extra effort to reconnect with your teenager, one-on-one every week for an hour or two away from home. It will be the one thing they remember most fondly about you, their entire life.

Failing Well (9-21-2009)

TODAY’S SCRIPT:

Concerning failure, I like the way Chuck Swindoll put it. He said, “Failure is the back door to success.” So, do you allow your child to fail well?

Parents who are quick to correct with harsh words, versus allowing consequences to do the correcting, can damage a teenager’s self-esteem.

Verbal attacks on the child’s character are usually a discouraging force in their life, not a positive force for change. Rather, a wise parent will offer encouragement to try again, realizing that the consequences applied to their failure will do the teaching, so there’s no need to rub it in.

Belittling failed efforts serves only to build resentment. So help your teenager “fail well,” by encouraging them to make better decisions the next time.

WEEKLY: When Parents Feel Isolated (9-19-2009)

WEEKLY PROGRAM SUMMARY:

When your teen is spinning out of control, there are a lot of emotions for you as a parent.  One common reaction is the feeling of isolation.  If you’re all alone, wondering where to turn, there’s help!  Mark Gregston takes a call from a struggling parent on this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens.