Empty Smiles (7-20-2009)

SCRIPT:

I’ve found that the only thing worse than dealing with a teen that openly complains and speaks his mind, is a troubled teen who smiles and acts like nothing is wrong.

Fake smilers are usually the byproduct of overly demanding parents, who raise their children thinking that showing any form of difficulty or distress will reflect badly on them. So they hide their issues under a smile.

Parents, keep in mind that perfectionism can create many more problems with a teen than it is ever given credit for. You’d be wise to teach your teen to be real, not a fake smiler.

Sharing Your Past With Your Teen (7-18-2009)

WEEKLY HALF-HOUR PROGRAM SUMMARY:

Is it wise to share your past mistakes with your teen?  Mark Gregston talks to moms and dads about being vulnerable with teens, and how learning your lessons can help your child learn theirs.

Two Sets of Standards (7-17-2009)

SCRIPT:

One reason our culture is so confusing for kids today is because many are being bounced back and forth between households under shared custody agreements.

Having two sets of parents and their different sets of rules and expectations is less than ideal, but thankfully, teens are capable of adapting to it.

But both parents can help reduce the stress by being clear about the basic rules. For the sake of their child they’ll guard themselves from being lax about the rules as a way of gaining the favor of the teen. And most of all, they will keep in mind that the purpose of custody — even split custody — is to be a parent to the teen, not just another peer.

Eternal Investments (7-16-2009)

SCRIPT:

Have you faithfully taught your child the God’s truths, but now fear those truths are being forsaken?

When an older child’s behavior resembles nothing of the values you’ve taught them, be assured that the influence of your example and teaching won’t fall on deaf ears — at least not for long. Scripture says, “When they are old they will not depart from it.”

In other words, everything parents teach their children will one day come around to impact their lives. But the timing is in God’s hands. All we we can do in the meantime is to love and accept them unconditionally, even as God also loves us. And pray that God will use His truths to transform their hearts.

Constructive Feedback for Teens (7-15-2009)

SCRIPT:

Constructive feedback can light the way for the most positive and rewarding moments in parenting teens.

Well-timed, well-focused feedback is a powerful tool that can encourage good decisions and shore up wobbly relationships.        

The key to helping your teen benefit from positive feedback is to deliver it at the right moment, in the right way and with the right motives.

Simply name something positive, tell them why it was good, and encourage them to look for more ways to do the same.   Then give them a hug, offer them more freedom as a reward for their good judgment.  It will go a long way toward encouraging good judgment in the future.

A Taste of God (7-14-2009)

SCRIPT:

When you make the decision to help a teen who may be struggling with problems like gender confusion, drug abuse, anger, or loss, you are loving that child as God would, and giving them a taste of the character of God in the process.

Meeting the needs of a troubled youth may make you honestly say to yourself, “I don’t like having to do this,” or, “This is harder than I thought it would be.”  

But I’ve learned that God helps you keep going, long after you think you can’t, even when you no longer feel like it.

A weary parent or grandparent can always count on God’s help.  He will walk with you, and give you the support you need to, “Not grow weary in doing well.”

Parent Heroes (7-13-2009)

SCRIPT:

Someone once said, “Heroes are those who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless.”

Parents today sometimes find it hard to engage in healthy discipline that teaches a child the value of self-control, or, they’d rather treat their child as a friend instead of teaching them some difficult but valuable life lessons. 

On the other hand, I know parents who are heroes in their own right because they do what needs to be done in disciplining their teen, even if their children may not like them for it at the time. 

Parents who are heroes to their children in later life are those who did their best to teach them to do what’s right.

When Good Parenting Yields Bad Results (7-11-2009)

WEEKLY HALF-HOUR PROGRAM SUMMARY:

You tried to do everything right.  But still, your teen is making bad choices.  In this weekly edition of Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston gives encouragement and direction for parents who don’t know what to do next.

Don’t Redo Their Work (7-10-2009)

SCRIPT:

Do you rearrange your teen’s bedroom, rewrite their homework, or otherwise reorder their lives?

The temptation to control every aspect of a teenager’s life comes from parents who leave no room for their teen to learn their own methods for getting something done.

Over-control can be a form of disrespect, and if you wonder how your teen feels about it, just ask him, “Do you mind when I change the way you do things?” You already know how he’ll answer.

Offering advice is different from taking control, so the next time you hand over a responsibility to your teen, advise them how you would do it, then leave it to them to complete in their own way.

Letting Anger Go (7-09-2009)

SCRIPT:

It can be tough for parents when they’re dragged into dealing with the consequences of their teen’s misbehavior.

Parents quickly learn that their teen’s misbehavior can usher in consequences for them as well.  I’m talking about the time and financial involvement of outsiders like counselors, police, lawyers and judges.

It can be hard for a parent to take when their teen’s poor choices cost thousands of dollars or get the teen expelled from school.

Even so, scripture teaches us to forgive, saying “Forgiveness is a never ending well of continuing grace and mercy.” 

Hand out the appropriate consequences, they’re necessary.  But be sure to let go of your anger.  Don’t break your relationship with your teen, no matter how much it costs in time and money.