Faithful Love (6-18-2009)

SCRIPT:

Parents fear that their teen is capable of doing in an instant what will leave them with a scar on their soul for life.

Even when they’ve done the worst, your teen needs to know you love them just the same today as you did before their terrible mistake. That you intend to continue to be a friend in their time of need, and that your love for them will never stop — no matter what the awful consequences. 

It is in the toughest of times that a Christian parent can give their child a taste of the true character of a God who loves them, communicate a better way of living, a different view of life, and the need for a Savior, who will also never leave or forsake them, no matter what they’ve done.

Teen Angry Answers (6-17-2009)

SCRIPT:

If you have teens in the house, I guarantee there will be times when they will stir up anger. 

Police officers are trained to never lose their cool.  It does no good for a traffic cop to get angry with a speeder.  Doing so will only incite anger in return, and the officer will lose his position of authority. Instead, a ticket is calmly written and the speeder is sent on his way, kicking himself for the fine he’ll have to pay.

The next time you feel anger with your teen for breaking the rules, think of the traffic cop.  Keep calm and apply the consequences, which will serve to make the teen angry at himself, not you, for the fine he’ll have to pay.

Sorting Out Sports for Teens (6-16-2009)

SCRIPT:

Some parents believe that every kid needs to play a sport, just like they did.  But is this wise?

Though I was active in sports in school, I’ve learned that some kids shouldn’t be forced into it.  Demanding that a teen play a sport, or join in any other extra-curricular activity, may be rooted in selfish thinking on the part of the parents and it can do more harm than good.  Giving children a chance to try new things is healthy, but I don’t recommend forcing ongoing participation in the teen years if they find they don’t like it.

Wise parents will set aside their own wishes and instead seek out activities that their teen can be passionate about.

Teens Who Argue (6-15-2009)

SCRIPT:

I’ve learned that anything can be argued about, and some teens argue about everything.

Since some teens are bent on arguing, the best way to stop arguments is to simply find a way to agree with them. It takes the fuse out of the ticking time-bomb when you respond by saying you understand their point of view, or simply agree with what they’re saying.  For example, “You’re right, I am a terrible driver,”  or, “I can see why you might think that way…”

Some battles having to do with moral issues and household rules are worth fighting, but don’t engage in petty adolescent arguments.  When you put out the fuse, your teen will eventually stop lighting it.

Watching Out for Teen Pitfalls (6-13-2009)

WEEKLY HALF-HOUR PROGRAM SUMMARY:

When you’re driving, you avoid potholes. And when you’re parenting teens, you should avoid pitfalls. Mark maps out the hazards that may lie in the road for your family.

Teens and Peers (6-12-2009)

SCRIPT:

Parents and teens have differing goals.  A parent seeks to defend and protect their teen, but a teen seeks to have friends and to be accepted by his peers.

Parents can tend to shelter their teens in an effort to keep them from connecting with wrong influences, or to be pressured into wrong behavior. But a teen wants socialization and acceptance outside the family. 

So a wise parent will give enough freedom to address their teen’s need to belong, along with very strong boundaries around their choices.  The combination of freedom and boundaries, with strong consequences, keeps a parent in the right kind of support role, and gives a teen a good reason to say “no” to their peers.

Teen Expectations (6-11-2009)

SCRIPT:

A parent’s expectations can be either a burden or a blessing in the life of their teen.

Have you thought how your teen struggles with understanding and meeting your expectations?  If you expect too much, he’ll bristle, feel he can never measure up, or feel like a constant failure.  If you expect too little, he gets frustrated and feels like, “Who cares….no one notices what I do anyway.”  Either way, he loses trust in you.

I’ve learned that trust is like a beautiful building, it can take years to build it, but only seconds to destroy. So, talk openly about your expectations.  Ask your teen if you are expecting too much, or too little.  They’ll appreciate knowing you cared enough to ask.

Useful Purpose (6-10-2009)

SCRIPT:

Many of the things I love about my wife Jan are a part of her character because of her struggles with childhood abuse.

The promise of Romans 8:28 is that God uses all things in our lives for His good and His purposes when we love God.  I would never say that God causes pain to come into a person’s life, but I would say that God shows Himself faithful to those who’ve had painful experiences, and that He is faithful to His promise to use everything — even bad things — for our good and His purposes. 

Just as God has developed my wife into a beautiful, Godly woman who loves Him and helps others, God will do the same for your teen, no matter what they’ve come through.  Rest assured that God will ultimately use pain in our lives for higher purposes, and build us into the person He wants us to be.

Gracious Parenting (6-09-2009)

SCRIPT:

I’ve learned that truly forgiving someone takes a lot of practice, and that offering grace is not always easy. 

We love to talk about God’s grace, but let our teen mess up royally, and our own grace-giving becomes difficult.  The teen may not really deserve or even want forgiveness, but that may be exactly the right time to give it to them. 

Grace is a costly gift; and it is most needed when it is least deserved.  Given sparingly, and at the right moment, grace has the power to transform a relationship with a teen, just as the undeserved grace we receive from our Heavenly Father transforms and renews us.

Teen Character Building (6-08-2009)

SCRIPT:

There seems to be a lot of confusion over what schools should and shouldn’t teach our kids these days.

Kids can learn reading and writing in school, but character is learned from parents.

• Schools can teach self-esteem, but it is parents who teach self-respect.
• Schools can give awards for achievement, but parents teach a desire to serve others.
• Schools teach free thinking, but parents teach a child self-control and how to manage their emotions.
• And schools can offer success on tests — but parents teach a child how to make wise choices and be successful in life.

 Character-building is a parent’s job, it’s not a task that should be left to anyone else.