Macy’s Adoption (6-30-2009)

SCRIPT:

Sometimes teenagers can be wired a little differently.   What’s normal for them can seem to be rebellion in the eyes of their parents.

Macy was an adopted daughter who just couldn’t connect with the way her new family operated.  She distanced herself from her sisters, and avoided time with the family. 

Her adoptive parents misinterpreted Macy’s actions as  rebellion and sought help for it. But what seemed like rebellion was actually normal for Macy. She was just wired differently from most kids.  

When her parents learned that their child was just different, it helped them change the way they responded to her problems.   They learned to love her differences, without worry or reservation.

Barbed Wire (6-29-2009)

SCRIPT:

Sarah’s personality was so obstinate and disconnected that her family psychologist described her as “barbed wire.”  

When I first met Sarah at age 16, she pushed people away, and kept her distance. Sarah wasn’t necessarily rebellious, she just interpreted the actions of others as attacking her. So her defences were always up. 

Our counselors at Heartlight worked with Sarah, and over time she began to drop her defenses.  We uncovered the underlying reasons for her actions.  And underneath it all we found a lovely girl, grateful for parents and Heartlight counselors who helped her work through some tough issues in her life.

Rules and Consequences for Your Home (6-27-2009)

WEEKLY HALF-HOUR PROGRAM SUMMARY:

The healthiest homes are those with boundaries.

Special Guest: Tim Kimmel

Mean Teen Girls (6-26-2009)

SCRIPT:

Erika was the apple of her father’s eye.  She was loved, cherished, and even spoiled.

But the first day of middle school was terrible for Erika.  Her anger and hurt at being called names and bullied by mean girls spilled out after school, shocking her parents.  So, they began protecting Erika by monitoring her emails, text messages, and photos.  They reported harassments to the school and they discussed with Erika how her world had changed and how to handle it.

Erika and her parents learned that middle school can be a pretty difficult place for girls.  It’s a time for parents to take care to affirm their daughters by talking through the hurtful issues and offering positive reinforcements.

Parents and Divorce (6-25-2009)

SCRIPT:

Aaron was troubled by feelings of abandonment when his parents divorced. His misguided attempts to deal the emotional pain caused him to engage in a terrible drug habit.

For Aaron, having a continued relationship with his birth father after the divorce could have countered the wrong thinking and prevented the feelings of rejection.  His father’s guidance and love was missing, so there was a huge void in his heart that he tried to fill or mask with drugs.

In situations of divorce, it is important for both parents to continue to participate in their children’s lives. Doing so  conveys a sense of value and fills a void that no one else can easily fill.

Parent Perfectionism (6-24-2009)

SCRIPT:

Seemingly perfect people tend to think that their children need to be perfect too.  But the teen years are never perfect.

Laura tried to keep up the perfect teen routine, but suddenly snapped and took up lying and doing whatever she pleased.  I noticed as we attempted to help Laura that her parents seemed to criticize our every effort.  I discovered for myself just how difficult is was to please them, and I could see that Laura’s unhappiness was rooted in feelings of frustration and imperfection.  She could never please her parents, so why even try?  

If you find yourself criticizing your teen’s every move, lighten up.  Don’t drive your teen to frustration and be sure to balance your criticisms with positive feedback when they do things right.

The King Who Never Leaves Us (6-23-2009)

SCRIPT:

Isn’t it good to know that as believers who love our King, He will never leave us?

When the concert finished, the “King of rock and roll” exited to the announcement, “The king has left the building.”  The show was over because the king was gone.

There have been many times in the last 30 years that I have pondered that my King will never leave me.  Christ, our King, the King of Kings,  promises — no matter how tough things get,  “I will never leave you, I will never forsake you.”

Never forget this promise and teach it every day to your children. They need to know that the King we know, never leaves the building.

Teen Self-Awareness (6-22-2009)

SCRIPT:

Younger children generally don’t care what others think;  but all of that changes in adolescence.

As a teen matures, carefree living can quickly turn into brutal self-awareness.  So when your teen’s behavior becomes unlike anything you’ve seen before, it can be because they are thinking about themselves in a new way.  They may feel rejected or unaccepted by others, or don’t quite know how to fit in.  The mistake parents make when teens become frustrated by their new self-awareness, is to focus on their behavior instead of understanding its roots. 

Parents can help by remembering their own feelings of insecurity in the teen years and offer loving words of encouragement, affirmation, and empathy to their teen.

When Teens Shatter Your Dreams (6-20-2009)

WEEKLY HALF-HOUR PROGRAM SUMMARY:

Raising children is both wonderful and painful.  And for parents of teens, there may be more pain than joy right now in your life.

Special Guest:  Dr. Larry Crabb

Worry’s Wrong Assumptions (6-19-2009)

SCRIPT:

Worry is a witness to many wrong assumptions, because worry assumes facts not in evidence. 

Worry assumes that the bad behavior your teen perpetrated today will continue tomorrow.

Worry assumes that God doesn’t know all the details of what’s going on, or that He is not in control.

Worry assumes that God can’t be trusted to do the right thing, or He doesn’t care enough to intervene for your teen.

And worry assumes you know every detail and every cause of your teen’s misbehavior.

But worry’s assumptions are usually not true. So, instead of worrying, keep your eyes looking up, and seek out the truth, not empty assumptions.  Your teen deserves that from you.