Facebook Wisdom for Parents

In late December, I launched a new way of reaching out to parents of teens and preteens — through a Parenting Today’s Teens page on Facebook. Since then I’ve shared hundreds of communications with the growing number of “friends”who have joined our page—almost 2,500 in just 60 days. See it at http://www.facebook.com/parentingtodaysteens.

For those who have not joined our discussion and encouragement group on Facebook, I thought I’d share just a few of those conversations and the profound words of wisdom from others, as we’ve discussed everything having to do with raising teenagers. I’ll first indicate my post and then some of the selected comments others have made in response to it. Their Facebook name is removed for their privacy. I hope you will learn some bits of wisdom from both, or perhaps you’ll chuckle or cry, as I did.

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Teen Anger Provoked By Parents

If you hadn’t noticed, teenagers are in an overactive state of emotion most of the time. It doesn’t take much to bring them to the point of exasperation. They can only take so much pressure before they shut down or act out of frustration or anger instead of clear or right thinking. Sometimes they’re provoked to the point of putting up walls of protection around themselves. >> Article continued…

Shifting Gears in Parenthood

Do you allow your teenager to make mistakes? Or do you protect him from that? Think about it — if you hadn’t learned from your own mistakes, how would you know what it means to make one? And if you prevent your teen from making mistakes, how else will he grow into maturity? By lecturing him? By rescuing him every time? Based on what I’ve learned from 30 years of working with troubled teens, that mode of parenting simply isn’t helpful to children in their teenage years. >> Article continued…

Self-Mutilation: Teens and Cutting

Some young people today live in a world that goes “over the edge.” The “edge” of pain doesn’t stop them in their pursuit of eliminating boredom and creating excitement. Piercing, branding, cutting, tattoos, cosmetic surgery, reality shows (where fear isn’t a factor), and “mule” movies are now a part of the culture. Some say they’re “daring.” I say they’re numb and dissatisfied…and pain is a way for some to remind themselves that they’re still alive, a comment I hear from a number of cutters.  Finding a kid who cuts is pretty common today, sadly enough. >> Article continued…

Adopted Teen Troubles

Most adopted children that I’ve worked with have one question on their minds that is frankly unanswerable.  The question creates an unfillable void, especially in the teen years.  And that question is, “Why was I abandoned by my birth-mother?” 

Adopted kids often carry a lot of emotional baggage and the new parents are often caught off guard by how their lovely adopted child acts out when reaching the teenage years.  Many times the “new parents” are a reminder to that child of what she has lost, what she doesn’t have, and what she misses.  Thus, anger builds up over why she was abandoned more than about anything the adopted parents did or didn’t do.  The adopted parents just happen to be the convenient ones to take the brunt of her anger. >> Article continued…