Parental Consistency So Important

When I recently asked 3,000 parents what they would change if they could start over again in their parenting, the number one response was, “I’d be more consistent.”    

I suppose these parents now realize that their inconsistency led their teen and their family to a place they really didn’t want to go.  Whether rooted in misplaced love, or from being distracted by the hustle and bustle of life, or by not wanting to be the “bad guy” all the time, they made a habit of giving in, and now they are sorry for it.   >> Article continued…

Confronting Your Teen’s Mistakes

“The difference between the exact right words and the almost right words is like the difference between lightning bugs and lightning bolts.”  – Mark Twain

Avoiding toxic words and wrong motivations helps maintain a solid relationship while effectively confronting your teen’s mistakes.

I haven’t met a teen yet who doesn’t want to know they will continue to be loved when they’ve made mistakes. Loving someone seems easy when everything is going well.  It’s a quite different matter when your teen breaks your rules, and their life spins out of control.   In those times, the best way to demonstrate your continual love for them is to take care in the way you confront their misbehavior, avoiding toxic words and wrong motivations.

The first step is to let your teen know why you are confronting their misbehavior. It is that you love them and want to help them avoid bigger problems later in life. Demonstrate your respect for them by your demeanor, assuring them that you will move toward them in times of difficulty and struggle, not away from them.  Tell them that you can’t possibly love them any more than you do, and you’ll never love them any less, not even when they are at their worst. >> Article continued…

Teens and Self-Control

Parenting teens is not just about caring for their physical and educational needs. It’s also about training your teen to handle what life will later dish out, with body and soul intact.  It’s about teaching self-control. 

After all, your child will spend 80% of his lifetime away from you.  So, you need to ask yourself this question: “Am I willing to relinquish control to my teenager before he leaves home in order to help him learn how to act and become the one God desires him to be?” >> Article continued…

Rulemaking Versus Ruling

Some parents mix the idea of rulemaking with ruling their home. Reasonable rulemaking and proper boundaries will help a teenager mature into a confident adult, while living under a “ruler” can lead to frustration, rebellion and eroded self-esteem. Which kind of home is yours? One that has rules or one that is ruled?

Rules for your home should fall into three main areas of concern, which are foundational to all other character and maturity issues. They are honesty, obedience, and respect. After all, isn’t the ultimate intent of creating and enforcing rules in your home that of keeping a child’s poor choices from consuming him and destroying his relationships with others? >> Article continued…