Guiding Teens on Life’s Highway

Parents of teenagers can grow anxious about the path their teen is choosing in life. They might worry about their teen’s future, or even fret over whether or not they’ll have a good relationship with their teen after they leave home.

If you’re feeling anxious today, I’d like to offer some advice. First, let’s put anxiety into perspective with the words of Billy Graham, who wisely said, “Anxiety is the natural result when our hopes are centered in anything short of God and His will for us.” If we could apply that truth to the parents of teenagers, the answer to anxiety is the same — to have faith in God to guide your teenager along the right path. >> Article continued…

The Rising Tide of Teen Dishonesty

Some claim that the silly gesture of crossing your fingers behind your back to cover up a lie originated with Roman persecution of Christians. To escape death, those who lied about their faith in Christ, just as Peter did, made the sign of the cross behind their back to ask God’s forgiveness.

That sounds more like a fable to me, but it’s a fact that teenagers today seem to be crossing their fingers behind their back more and more. They are cheating and stealing more, too. The latest Report Card on the Ethics of American Youth, by the Josephson Institute of Ethics, shows teens are lying more often and more easily than ever. The report indicates an increase in lying, cheating and stealing among youth since 2006, when the report was first published.

Forty-two percent of those surveyed said they lied recently for financial gain. Sixty-four percent said they cheated on a test during the past year, and 38% had cheated more than once. Eighty-three percent said they had recently lied to their parents about something significant. >> Article continued…

Parenting Teens This Week

A Healthy Relationship with Your Teen

Do you want to become your child’s best friend? Of course you do! But does friendship with your child ever get in the way of your parenting? Do you cover your eyes and ears, or overlook problems with your teenager’s behavior because you fear that confrontation will hurt your relationship?

Some parents place so much value on having a great relationship with their child that they fail to take the appropriate position of parental authority in their life. It becomes more of an issue when there is a split in a family and each parent tries to impress a child in order to gain that child’s love. Or, it can happen if a parent is insecure and their child’s life has become their life too. It can even happen if a teen becomes rebellious and the parent caves in to their anger or bad behavior. >> Article continued…

The Answers Adopted Teens Seek

When an adopted child enters the adolescent years and their thinking transfers from concrete to abstract, they might begin asking that unanswerable question, “Why did my mother give me up?” At a time that most kids are trying to “find themselves” and form a concept and understanding of who they are and who they are not, the adoption card in their deck of options is one that is a mystery and a source of confusion for most (confusion is not a problem, but how they display that confusion might present a problem). 

The hard part of all of this is that this transition of thinking happens around the 7th or 8th grade year when life is tough for any young teen. Having to deal with these pretty tough and deep issues at a time they’re having to transition into early adolescence would be a heavy overload for anyone. Thus the identity issues come to the surface. >> Article continued…

Sorry, No Guarantees in Parenting

This article is excerpted from the new TEN WAYS TO TURN AROUND YOUR TEEN e-book by Mark Gregston. For a complimentary copy of the 107-page e-book, click the book to the left or click here.

Thinking that anything a parent can say, do, or offer to their children as they grow up will guarantee a smooth and trouble-free adolescence is just plain wrong. I’ve learned that there are no such guarantees in parenting.

Stuff happens in the teen years that is out of a parent’s control, even if you do everything right. Raising one “angelic” teenager can lead one to think you have found the right formula, right up until you see your next child go down a completely different path. Welcome to the real world — a world where God gives each child a free will. >> Article continued…

Never Give Up Parenting a Difficult Teen

If you’re dealing with a wayward teen, you know how relationally fatigued, emotionally beaten up, and personally worn down you can get. In fact, you may right now be thinking, “I’ve been pushing against this wall forever…I just can’t do it anymore.”  But let me encourage you to never give up…keep parenting, even when the going with your troubled teen gets toughest.

I understand just how confusing and tiring it is.  I’ve spent most of my life working with dozens of struggling teens at a time!  So, here are a few ways I’ve learned to cope… >> Article continued…

Marital Jeopardy Sparked by Teen Crisis

This weekend on our half-hour Parenting Today’s Teens radio program we’re talking about the impact of divorce on teenagers. I invite you to listen on your local station, or listen anytime after Saturday on our radio website, www.parentingtodaysteens.org.  

The separation or divorce of parents can deeply affect teenagers and cause them to lose their footing in life, but have you ever thought how hard the crisis you’re having with a difficult teenager is on your marriage? Really hard! It can even lead to divorce.

So, let’s discuss some proactive steps to take to fight against this tendency, since it needs to be something you are aware of even as you are dealing with your struggling teen.  After all, the failure of your marriage in the midst of the turmoil can lead to even more dire consequences for your teenager, and of course, for you. >> Article continued…

Damage Control for Teens of Divorce

When parents split up, it can cause a number of problems in the life of their children; especially if the children are in the pre-teen or teen years.  I would never say divorce is responsible for every problem for the kids from split families who come to our Heartlight teen counseling program, but it is a major factor for many.  Divorce piles on emotional problems for a teen a little higher than there would normally be for an already emotional adolescent. >> Article continued…

Letting Go of the Rope

I recently looked at some old photos of myself and was shocked to realize that I was wearing the same shirts today that I wore 20 years ago.  I was so used to wearing them that I never took time to notice the nicer, newer shirts left for me in my closet as a gracious hint from my wife. I have the same problem with my shirts that many parents have with their old parenting techniques.  There is nothing wrong with their tactics for kids in their younger years, but they are just a little outdated for teenagers.

If your son or daughter is responding negatively to some of your well-intended discipline, and your attempts to rein in their behavior is not working, don’t automatically assume that what you’re doing is all wrong.  It’s just that your teen is changing at such an alarming rate that some of the established ways of doing things are no longer giving you the positive results they once were. >> Article continued…