The Shut-Up Challenge

There is nothing more destructive to your relationship with your adolescent child than constant lecturing, moralizing, and warning.

There is nothing so demeaning as assuming your child can’t think for himself. There is nothing so disrespectful as throwing your child’s mistakes back in his face and condemning him. Keep in mind that I am referring to teenagers here, not your 2-year-old.

So, here is my advice…until you have a better understanding of how to handle it - JUST SHUT UP!   Continue Reading >>

Teens Who Demand and Parents Who Don’t

Teens today seem much more demanding than recent generations.  That’s relatively new, but what’s not new is that teens are also less mature today.  Add the two together and what you get is kids who expect their parents to be a walking, breathing ATM machine.

Parents who continually meet the financial demands of a teen fail to realize that they are unwittingly postponing their teen’s development into a responsible and mature adult.  That’s because generosity and a parent’s desire to provide for their child often gets misinterpreted by the teen, leading them believe that this provisional lifestyle will continue endlessly.  They want more and more and appreciate it less and less.   Continue Reading >>

Independence Day Getting Later for Today’s Teens

The definition of “independence” is different for the 18-year-olds of today. Fact is, fewer work or go on to college right out of high school.  More remain dependent on Mom and Dad, who house and support them for longer than parents have done so in the past.  Independence day for these kids seems to be coming later and later in life.

These kids aren’t all selfish, immature, and overly-dependent. But what I do see is a generation that seems to be taking longer to grow up, and doesn’t mind living off of Mom and Dad for as long as they are able. Somewhere between my generation — where we couldn’t wait to get out of of our parent’s house — and this generation that seems content to remain at home,  there’s been a definite shift in what kids consider to be “independence.”   Continue Reading >>